Sunday, September 14, 2014

Whits end

Yes I'm going in to my 5th (and hopefully last week of treatment) but I must tell you I'm literally going insane or as I say cray-cray!  The emotions are coming in from things I haven't thought of in some time.  Today dad mentioned my pops and I started bawling.  Not that my then 94 year old pops would have been able to help me physically, but I miss him & it brings mortality to the table.  

I sit in the same position, the same bed, use this iPad (love it) and my cell and that's my day in a nutshell.  Add in treatment and that's my routine,  I need change!  I need to be better, I need to get normal.  I know this won't happen over night so I cry and I feel better.  Nothing the matter with a good cry....says my mother.

The upcoming 7 weeks will unveil itself to me as to what state I'll be in physically and emotionally.  I've already started to ween off the hydromorphone which keeps me from driving.   Since my tumor is  smaller my pain is less so I get "high" but it's not a good high.  I can't compare to other drugs but It's nothing like the movie Pineapple Express sitting on a couch & laughing with your buddies or my case my folks.  Instead I'm up I'm down & all around.  Sleepy not sleepy. Happy sad...it's sucks lol 

Remember a few blogs back I spoke of Santa bringing the t-shirts?  Well he struck early again at Shane's work this time.  I think I see a Christmas card in the making this year!  

#carly2conquercancer


XOXO

C

1 comment:

  1. Hey Carly - you looked Fab yesterday - congrats on easing off on some of the drugs. Nope, don't know Pineapple Express - probably should add it to the bucket list! Today is Chemo #5 - WOW you are doing so great. I hope you have a good sleep tonite. Thinking of you, oxoxoxox

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