Thursday, August 23, 2018
I woke up yesterday and must have had some sort of empowering dream, as I had an incredible urge to make my bed. This may sound silly so let me explain. I RARELY make my bed. I’ve heard many times that making your bed each morning helps you get a good start to your day. Add in some breakfast and it’s like you’re a superhero ready to tackle the world! I’m pretty good at eating cereal every monrjng, but the making of the bed is a big fail. This must be why I’m not a superhero lol
With this urge then came forth the thought to challenge myself in small to large ways. Making my bed is not physically difficult, (although I do have a king size bed so it takes a few rips around to tuck ‘er in good), but nonetheless easily accomplished. So how can I use this idea to help myself moving forward. This recovery has shown me many speed bumps in what I can and cannot do and it’s become very frustrating.
I just celebrated my 43rd birthday and it also marked Winnie being 6 months old. In general Winnie is doing great, ask me about the 43 part and that’s a different story. I never imagined I’d be a 2 time cancer survivor living with an ostomy but it’s my vibe, my jam, my journey. I’m very accepting of it all and think that’s the only reason I’ve remained positive along the way. I attended a support group for Ostomates a couple months back and listened to others stories. I held back tears as one gent explained how he just can’t accept his fate and how he hates it. I just wanted to give him a hug. If we hated things about ourselves be it an ostomy pouch, our freckles, hair...whatever, how sad would we always be? Clearly his situation is more complicated than a bad hair cut, but dwelling can take you down such a slippery slope. As much as I, he, we hate situations or things it can always be worse and find myself telling me that every single day.
Had I just had the colostomy surgery I’d probably be doing a lot better by now, my biggest road block is the reconstruction from where my tumour was and these annoying hernias that are constantly in my way. The one hernia is so big and hard it makes it difficult to move be it walking or just rolling out of bed. The reconstruction has left me with uncomfortable sitting, bleeding and pain. I meet with my doctors in September and October to hear next steps. From what we spoke of last time I’ll need a surgery to fix the skin flap. What this surgery will be exactly is TBA, but I can’t wait to not hurt when I sit. I can’t wait to not bleed from too much friction in the area. If they fix the hernias at the same time I’m not sure, I just want my previous belly roll back. Like who says that! 😆
This summer I’ve been doing as much as I can physically, usually just chilling at the beach because that takes no effort and I have an amazing chair! I attended my friends wedding and even got in an inflatable kayak. That kayak was so comfy I could have slept in it! I guess I’ve been challenging myself longer than I realized now that I’m thinking about it, so does that mean I don’t have to sort the large pile of clothes on my floor? That’s a hard no, keep challenging Carly and hang up those clothes!
- August 23, 2018
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