Another week is about to come to a close in the hyperbaric chamber. Friday will be my 12th of 40 treatments, and after meeting with my cancer doctors this week, it appears I'm healing well. Looks like I'm on track to see my Big Kahuna wound healed up when I celebrate my first 40th....my second & real 40th comes in August (gulp).
Some "newbies" have joined in the chamber and more touching stories are now in my heart. The longer my journey...the more people I meet....the more helpless I feel, not only for myself but for others. There are lots of sick people out there and I just want to wave a pink wand and make it all well. From cancer to Alzheimer's to Multiple sclerosis, many more cures are needed to answer so many more prayers.
I was fortunate to see Oprah live when she was in Vancouver a couple years ago and now I'm reading her book. She speaks a lot about living each day to the fullest and making life as best as you can. She also speaks about purpose and your true calling. As I said before I believe I was dealt this cancer journey to somehow help others. Of course I need to get well before I can do most things, but I will give back...I will help others. It shall be my purpose.
I hope everyone has a great weekend. It's a weekend full of sports. Friday: Canucks Sat:rest Sun: Canucks & Super Bowl. I'm venturing to Fridays game and will be debuting my signed Bonino jersey I got for Christmas sitting in section 109! Sunday I'll rest the body & soul watching hockey & football...can't get a much better day than that!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Thursday, January 29, 2015
Monday, January 26, 2015
Monday Funday?
If you look in my grade 7 year book, beside my baby picture is the caption "I hate Mondays!" This is a general true statement for me but today I can say I had a lovey day. It was not a day full of glamour or treats, just an all around good day. Today I felt great support from my hyperbaric roommates and doctors giving me more strength on this cray-cray journey.
After hyperbaric treatment I headed over to the Cancer Agency for a check up with my radiologist. We had a great conversation about life and cancer and how they affect each other. It was pretty deep and meaningful and he gave me some examples of how other patients have used their cancer journeys to mold their futures. This is exactly what I see and want to happen for me.
We spoke about my progress and healing and what to expect going forward. Thing is...we can't really say what's going to happen until some questions are answered. I've had chemo, radiation and then my tumour removed but also had a set back with my infection and one & a half week stay in the hospital. My skin won't heal quickly as a result of the radiation so no further surgeries can happen until I'm completely healed and have a clear PET scan come March.
It appears I may have chrones so some super fun tests are coming my way to confirm to what extent. I'll take chrones over cancer any day but with chrones comes more challenges...basically I'm just a bombshell of a challenge, but nothing new there right?
Are you impressed I still have my grade 7 year book? Year was 1987/1988 and I attended Jules Quesnel or "JQ" which still stands & is attached to Lord Byng Secondary in Vancouver. I remember watching the older kids at Byng thinking how cool they were....all grown up. All I want now is to be in grade 7 again with no worries larger than what to wear to school and being taller than everyone else. Lots sure has happened and changed since then however I'm still the same height! #shortie
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
After hyperbaric treatment I headed over to the Cancer Agency for a check up with my radiologist. We had a great conversation about life and cancer and how they affect each other. It was pretty deep and meaningful and he gave me some examples of how other patients have used their cancer journeys to mold their futures. This is exactly what I see and want to happen for me.
We spoke about my progress and healing and what to expect going forward. Thing is...we can't really say what's going to happen until some questions are answered. I've had chemo, radiation and then my tumour removed but also had a set back with my infection and one & a half week stay in the hospital. My skin won't heal quickly as a result of the radiation so no further surgeries can happen until I'm completely healed and have a clear PET scan come March.
It appears I may have chrones so some super fun tests are coming my way to confirm to what extent. I'll take chrones over cancer any day but with chrones comes more challenges...basically I'm just a bombshell of a challenge, but nothing new there right?
Are you impressed I still have my grade 7 year book? Year was 1987/1988 and I attended Jules Quesnel or "JQ" which still stands & is attached to Lord Byng Secondary in Vancouver. I remember watching the older kids at Byng thinking how cool they were....all grown up. All I want now is to be in grade 7 again with no worries larger than what to wear to school and being taller than everyone else. Lots sure has happened and changed since then however I'm still the same height! #shortie
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Saturday, January 24, 2015
Nighty night
Night time... Where horror movies are inspired and where we're spooked not to sleep fearing the boogeyman will come. Night time is the hardest for me and has been since day 1. I see my version of the boogeyman every night via visions I can't get out of my head and soft tears I can't dry up.
Keeping busy is a double edged sword. It keeps me occupied which is good, but I usually end up quite exhausted or sore which isn't so good. My version of the playground teeter totter, which end do I want to be on today? Shall I ride high and risk a thump of a landing, or should I hang out in the sand where it's safe and has an easy dismount?
I was watching the TV show The Social the other day and they had a beauty segment concentrating on wrinkles, one specifically about a woman's neck. As many of you know I was a Cosmetics Manager and have always loved beauty, so as soon the segment was over and the "need to do" info was stored in my brain, I marched right in to my bathroom and pulled out all my lotions & potions. I knew I had cream specifically for the neck & I found it. I checked out my neck and thought not too bad, but could be better. I can't wear as much makeup due to hyperbaric safety regulations, so heck yes I'll at least have glowing skin and a smooth looking neck. My 7 week mission has begun and I'm already exhausted just typing this! Maybe I should take before & after pics and pitch myself as a spokesmodel once complete!
Guess it's time I face the boogeyman face on...head on...whatever...and let him know Carly's In Charge, or at least half me and half my sleeping meds! I'm done with my horror movies and would much rather a documentary or comedy!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Keeping busy is a double edged sword. It keeps me occupied which is good, but I usually end up quite exhausted or sore which isn't so good. My version of the playground teeter totter, which end do I want to be on today? Shall I ride high and risk a thump of a landing, or should I hang out in the sand where it's safe and has an easy dismount?
I was watching the TV show The Social the other day and they had a beauty segment concentrating on wrinkles, one specifically about a woman's neck. As many of you know I was a Cosmetics Manager and have always loved beauty, so as soon the segment was over and the "need to do" info was stored in my brain, I marched right in to my bathroom and pulled out all my lotions & potions. I knew I had cream specifically for the neck & I found it. I checked out my neck and thought not too bad, but could be better. I can't wear as much makeup due to hyperbaric safety regulations, so heck yes I'll at least have glowing skin and a smooth looking neck. My 7 week mission has begun and I'm already exhausted just typing this! Maybe I should take before & after pics and pitch myself as a spokesmodel once complete!
Guess it's time I face the boogeyman face on...head on...whatever...and let him know Carly's In Charge, or at least half me and half my sleeping meds! I'm done with my horror movies and would much rather a documentary or comedy!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Friday, January 23, 2015
Settled in
I've been in my new home since Tuesday and things are going well. With the help of my family & friends I've been very blessed and well set up for a successful move. Mom and Katyann might have set a record for quickest kitchen set up and dad hung mirrors and pictures with care meaning "can someone pass me a tape measure". The least I could do was order some yummy Chinese food as a thank you #nomsg!
Simba is 12 and I've never seen him so happy. He was 1 when Nalla joined our family and since her passing and now being in a new home, he's living the dream. You can see the cute pics I've posted of him throughout the apartment on this blog via my Instagram. I'm training him on how to use the cat door getting in to the storage room where his liter box is kept...that's a work in progress. He goes in fine but doesn't understand he can come out the same way. I think the flap kinda freaks him out! At least I have some entertainment lately!
I've just finished another 3 sessions in the hyperbaric chamber with 7 total now under my belt....or should I say helmet! Many people are asking me if I'm feeling different as a result of this treatment, and I can't say yes or no. When I go to my check up at the cancer clinic this week, I'll ask them if my progress is on par or ahead of where they'd like me to be. I definitely feel stronger than 2 weeks ago, walking much better and taking less medications. I've over-done it a couple days but it general feeling good. My wobbling isn't as noticeable but I still use my cane so when in public people don't look at me funny and it emotionally gives me a little more strength.
My chamber sessions are full with 8 of us each day. You start to get to know a bit about each other's reasons for being in the chamber and share some stories. We wear provided head phones under our helmet to give us sound watching the movie of the day, or you read a magazine/book. I've been fortunate that my ears adjust well to the diving process but not all patients can handle the pressure in their ears. Biggest change for me is lotions & makeup. No deodorant, makeup or lotion can be worn in chamber as they're combustible hazards. My skin has never been so dry so once I'm home I cream up and probably feel like a slimy snake! I don't mind the no makeup so much, as my prep time has decreased dramatically Monday through Friday and not smelling poorly as a result of no deodorant...thank goodness!
This weekend I'll finish my bedroom set up and all will be complete. When you coming over to visit? Invite yourself anytime!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Simba is 12 and I've never seen him so happy. He was 1 when Nalla joined our family and since her passing and now being in a new home, he's living the dream. You can see the cute pics I've posted of him throughout the apartment on this blog via my Instagram. I'm training him on how to use the cat door getting in to the storage room where his liter box is kept...that's a work in progress. He goes in fine but doesn't understand he can come out the same way. I think the flap kinda freaks him out! At least I have some entertainment lately!
I've just finished another 3 sessions in the hyperbaric chamber with 7 total now under my belt....or should I say helmet! Many people are asking me if I'm feeling different as a result of this treatment, and I can't say yes or no. When I go to my check up at the cancer clinic this week, I'll ask them if my progress is on par or ahead of where they'd like me to be. I definitely feel stronger than 2 weeks ago, walking much better and taking less medications. I've over-done it a couple days but it general feeling good. My wobbling isn't as noticeable but I still use my cane so when in public people don't look at me funny and it emotionally gives me a little more strength.
My chamber sessions are full with 8 of us each day. You start to get to know a bit about each other's reasons for being in the chamber and share some stories. We wear provided head phones under our helmet to give us sound watching the movie of the day, or you read a magazine/book. I've been fortunate that my ears adjust well to the diving process but not all patients can handle the pressure in their ears. Biggest change for me is lotions & makeup. No deodorant, makeup or lotion can be worn in chamber as they're combustible hazards. My skin has never been so dry so once I'm home I cream up and probably feel like a slimy snake! I don't mind the no makeup so much, as my prep time has decreased dramatically Monday through Friday and not smelling poorly as a result of no deodorant...thank goodness!
This weekend I'll finish my bedroom set up and all will be complete. When you coming over to visit? Invite yourself anytime!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Monday, January 19, 2015
New beginnings
New beginnings, how many times do we say that in our lifetime? High school, college, first apartment, first love, first heartbreak, maybe marraige & kids, divorce or like me....cancer. We love to say "here's to new beginnings" and I've said that a lot since July and tomorrow is no different.
With a fresh move in to a beautiful new place, I hope this new beginning can be joyful and happy. I leave behind the apartment where I felt so much pain physically and emotionally. The apartment where some not so happy Dr phone calls were received and where my family and I huddled coping with unhappy news. May my new home bring forth tears of joy rather than sadness and help me cope with whatever is next on my journey.
I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I don't have a husband & rather a cat. A husband would have to go through so much helping me but could have relieved my parents however my cat is awesome. He's always here for me when I get home, he loves to snuggle but not too much and always seems to listen when I need an ear. Dear god....am I really a crazy cat lady? No...no...I'm not. Crazy cat ladies have at least 4 cats! Right?
Time for my last sleep in my old home waking up tomorrow to movers, my amazing parents and my new beggining. Geeze...I'm tearey eyed & I've packed my darn Kleenex...ugh!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
With a fresh move in to a beautiful new place, I hope this new beginning can be joyful and happy. I leave behind the apartment where I felt so much pain physically and emotionally. The apartment where some not so happy Dr phone calls were received and where my family and I huddled coping with unhappy news. May my new home bring forth tears of joy rather than sadness and help me cope with whatever is next on my journey.
I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing that I don't have a husband & rather a cat. A husband would have to go through so much helping me but could have relieved my parents however my cat is awesome. He's always here for me when I get home, he loves to snuggle but not too much and always seems to listen when I need an ear. Dear god....am I really a crazy cat lady? No...no...I'm not. Crazy cat ladies have at least 4 cats! Right?
Time for my last sleep in my old home waking up tomorrow to movers, my amazing parents and my new beggining. Geeze...I'm tearey eyed & I've packed my darn Kleenex...ugh!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Saturday, January 17, 2015
Packed up!
I had planned today and Sunday as packing days but Saturdays team did so well that Sundays crew received a cancellation notice. I was in amazement on how awesome my friends and family were today. Thank you Marie, Michelle, Steph, Mom, Renee, Cindy, Trista, Melissa and Rick.
Friday I went back to my apartment after hyperbaric treatment and spent the day relaxing and snuggling with Simba. He's catching on that we're moving and I'm seeing some stress in him. As I slept in my own bed for the first time in weeks, Simba slept on my arm the whole night. We were both glad to be together again. Sounds like I'm talking about a love story or something, but it's my cat, however he's my boy...my Sim-Sim. I can't wait for our move to be done so he and I can have some "normal" routine back in our lives. It'll be puuuurrrrr-fect!
After Wednesdays concert panic attack and a long day again today, I found myself crying once home at mom and dads. Even though I'm not doing the heavy lifting I was juggling "hey Carly how do you...." questions all day and was on my feet way too long. I get these good days or glimpses of feeling great so add a bit more to my list of things to do, but seems I suffer thereafter with exhaustion and/or a good cry. I don't hold back my tears but I must tell you I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of being sick, but I can't change that. I must push forward...this too shall pass.
Theoretically I'm currently cancer free....this I need to repeat over and over again reminding myself how great that is. Unfortunately becoming cancer free has left me with wounds that need to heal and I need to tell myself I'm not a super-woman who heals faster than the speed of light! I am human, I am in recovery, I must relax.
Just now laying in bed writing this blog, I turned over & got that incredibly painful fire-like pain shooting through my right leg. I don't feel it when walking or standing, just when laying down. It's the oddest thing and neurology swears it's pelvic nerve damage from radiation but who knows. Hope as I heal it goes away.
Tomorrow I'll remain home vs going back to my apartment for the last small detail packing. Mom and dad are confident they can do the last few things easily along with the help of my godfather. Dad went out tonight and got Simba some good tasty wet food that he'll feed him tomorrow. Think somebody has caught the Simba bug LOL
The NFL playoffs are back Sunday with Green Bay vs Seattle. I've loved GB since I was a kid & dream of going to a home game wearing cheese on my head but of course also want to see our "local' team get the win. I think Seattle is too tough to beat but I'll win either way liking both teams.
This weekend I take courage from the NFL. You can bang me up & stitch me up but my race for the win never stops!
#carly2conquercancer
XOXO
C
Friday I went back to my apartment after hyperbaric treatment and spent the day relaxing and snuggling with Simba. He's catching on that we're moving and I'm seeing some stress in him. As I slept in my own bed for the first time in weeks, Simba slept on my arm the whole night. We were both glad to be together again. Sounds like I'm talking about a love story or something, but it's my cat, however he's my boy...my Sim-Sim. I can't wait for our move to be done so he and I can have some "normal" routine back in our lives. It'll be puuuurrrrr-fect!
After Wednesdays concert panic attack and a long day again today, I found myself crying once home at mom and dads. Even though I'm not doing the heavy lifting I was juggling "hey Carly how do you...." questions all day and was on my feet way too long. I get these good days or glimpses of feeling great so add a bit more to my list of things to do, but seems I suffer thereafter with exhaustion and/or a good cry. I don't hold back my tears but I must tell you I'm sick of crying. I'm sick of being sick, but I can't change that. I must push forward...this too shall pass.
Theoretically I'm currently cancer free....this I need to repeat over and over again reminding myself how great that is. Unfortunately becoming cancer free has left me with wounds that need to heal and I need to tell myself I'm not a super-woman who heals faster than the speed of light! I am human, I am in recovery, I must relax.
Just now laying in bed writing this blog, I turned over & got that incredibly painful fire-like pain shooting through my right leg. I don't feel it when walking or standing, just when laying down. It's the oddest thing and neurology swears it's pelvic nerve damage from radiation but who knows. Hope as I heal it goes away.
Tomorrow I'll remain home vs going back to my apartment for the last small detail packing. Mom and dad are confident they can do the last few things easily along with the help of my godfather. Dad went out tonight and got Simba some good tasty wet food that he'll feed him tomorrow. Think somebody has caught the Simba bug LOL
The NFL playoffs are back Sunday with Green Bay vs Seattle. I've loved GB since I was a kid & dream of going to a home game wearing cheese on my head but of course also want to see our "local' team get the win. I think Seattle is too tough to beat but I'll win either way liking both teams.
This weekend I take courage from the NFL. You can bang me up & stitch me up but my race for the win never stops!
#carly2conquercancer
XOXO
C
Thursday, January 15, 2015
Cuts like a knife
Bryan Adams sings his song "...Cuts Like a Knife but it feels so right". I can't say it feels so right necessarily, but I can say I've felt cut up in more ways than one. Physically and emotionally this journey continues to cut me up and I continue to heal my wounds one by one.
I haven't blogged in a few days and I sure missed it, writing is my therapy and I've been a little cranky as a result. Hyperbaric chamber treatment sessions are either 815am or 1215pm and this week I was scheduled for the 815am start times. I'm not the best morning person so to save an early drive and earlier wake up call, I've stayed at my cousins and one of my BFFs. This means living out of a suitcase Tues-Fri and it's hard. I miss routine, my folks, my cat, my stuff. Next week I start the afternoon sessions so that'll be a way better routine for me and as of Tuesday I'll also have moved in to my new home. Being so close to my folks and with Simba full-time again will be so good for me.
Hyperbaric treatments are going well. I'm managing the 2.5 hours of sitting and have met some lovely people. We chat pre and post treatment but once in the chamber when our helmets are on, conversations become reading and movie time. We have the option to wear head phones in our helmets to hear the movie which is a great way to pass the time. All the books and magazines I've been given and not able to read thus far will be read in chamber.
Every 30 minutes the helmet is removed for a 5 minute break. You can't leave the helmet on the entire time as it's too much direct oxygen. During this quick break I stand to stretch and give myself a quick break from sitting. Repeat 3 times and the session is over. It's called "diving", we go to certain depts of oxygen and back up with the idea of increased healing. One lady told me her hearing has come back dramatically over her 20 sessions thus far. These treatments don't make you feel strong like as an ox but instead sleepy and a little light headed.
I was at the Bryan Adams concert last night along with most of Vancouver. Since the age of 9 I've been to almost every show available to me in Vancouver or Calgary and each time I say he sounds better. 11 albums later he's still as Reckless as ever and sure brought me joy last night.
I had a panic attack leaving the arena as there were too many people for my liking. My long time friend Erynn had a host escort us in to a private washroom where she calmed me down as I waited for my folks and super bro. Looking back I should have left early but regret nothing. I had such a nice time but it's hard to recover. I struggled getting to sleep and have been laying down all day post chamber. I just tell myself, this too shall pass.
I'm now off to bed in a cozy bed c/o Candice as she sleeps on her couch so I can be comfortable. She continues to show me crazy acts of friendship more and more each day be it handling my tears or cooking me an awesome meal.
I'm a lucky gal having you all in my corner, I thank you!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
I haven't blogged in a few days and I sure missed it, writing is my therapy and I've been a little cranky as a result. Hyperbaric chamber treatment sessions are either 815am or 1215pm and this week I was scheduled for the 815am start times. I'm not the best morning person so to save an early drive and earlier wake up call, I've stayed at my cousins and one of my BFFs. This means living out of a suitcase Tues-Fri and it's hard. I miss routine, my folks, my cat, my stuff. Next week I start the afternoon sessions so that'll be a way better routine for me and as of Tuesday I'll also have moved in to my new home. Being so close to my folks and with Simba full-time again will be so good for me.
Hyperbaric treatments are going well. I'm managing the 2.5 hours of sitting and have met some lovely people. We chat pre and post treatment but once in the chamber when our helmets are on, conversations become reading and movie time. We have the option to wear head phones in our helmets to hear the movie which is a great way to pass the time. All the books and magazines I've been given and not able to read thus far will be read in chamber.
Every 30 minutes the helmet is removed for a 5 minute break. You can't leave the helmet on the entire time as it's too much direct oxygen. During this quick break I stand to stretch and give myself a quick break from sitting. Repeat 3 times and the session is over. It's called "diving", we go to certain depts of oxygen and back up with the idea of increased healing. One lady told me her hearing has come back dramatically over her 20 sessions thus far. These treatments don't make you feel strong like as an ox but instead sleepy and a little light headed.
I was at the Bryan Adams concert last night along with most of Vancouver. Since the age of 9 I've been to almost every show available to me in Vancouver or Calgary and each time I say he sounds better. 11 albums later he's still as Reckless as ever and sure brought me joy last night.
I had a panic attack leaving the arena as there were too many people for my liking. My long time friend Erynn had a host escort us in to a private washroom where she calmed me down as I waited for my folks and super bro. Looking back I should have left early but regret nothing. I had such a nice time but it's hard to recover. I struggled getting to sleep and have been laying down all day post chamber. I just tell myself, this too shall pass.
I'm now off to bed in a cozy bed c/o Candice as she sleeps on her couch so I can be comfortable. She continues to show me crazy acts of friendship more and more each day be it handling my tears or cooking me an awesome meal.
I'm a lucky gal having you all in my corner, I thank you!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Sunday, January 11, 2015
Healing journey
I couldn't have chosen a better team of doctors and nurses to take care of me while at VGH. When I left to come home I gave thank you cards to those who tended to me most as they had become my friends. Of course I wanted to come home and return to somewhat of a normal life but leaving was harder than I thought it would be. I hugged & cried with a few nurses as I walked to the elevator wearing my new sweatsuit and Addidas runners mom had just got me. Mom really wants me to throw out and old and over-worn hoodie and think this was her making a point!
I've now been home 3 sleeps, about to be 4, and settling back in to a new routine. Tomorrow I have orientation with the hyperbaric chamber team hopefully to get me starting my sessions ASAP. I really need to heal in order to get Winnie and the margins needed to remain cancer free. Lately I've been saying "Team Winnie"....never thought I'd say that months back.
This coming week brings forth packing, with friends and family coming to my apartment Saturday and Sunday. I have some fierce packers signed up and think all will be done sooner than later. Simba will no doubt be mad at me but once he settles in to our new home all will be forgotten.
I know lots of you receive my blog updates via the email link vs looking on my actual site. Please know the email link is a "do not reply" service. I will NOT receive any emails from you that way. You're able to comment via website blog using a signed in gmail account or click Anonymous writing your comment choosing to sign your name or not. Many of you choose to email me directly and that too is fine. Looking on the actual site also shows you pictures I post via Instagram. To see the caption just click on the picture. This is where the magic happens!
My legs feel better and I'm sitting longer so progress is being made. The pain is still there but it's manageable and hope to be back driving soon. If you want to invite yourself over for a visit please don't be shy as your visits are the light keeping me going and I thank you dearly.
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
I've now been home 3 sleeps, about to be 4, and settling back in to a new routine. Tomorrow I have orientation with the hyperbaric chamber team hopefully to get me starting my sessions ASAP. I really need to heal in order to get Winnie and the margins needed to remain cancer free. Lately I've been saying "Team Winnie"....never thought I'd say that months back.
This coming week brings forth packing, with friends and family coming to my apartment Saturday and Sunday. I have some fierce packers signed up and think all will be done sooner than later. Simba will no doubt be mad at me but once he settles in to our new home all will be forgotten.
I know lots of you receive my blog updates via the email link vs looking on my actual site. Please know the email link is a "do not reply" service. I will NOT receive any emails from you that way. You're able to comment via website blog using a signed in gmail account or click Anonymous writing your comment choosing to sign your name or not. Many of you choose to email me directly and that too is fine. Looking on the actual site also shows you pictures I post via Instagram. To see the caption just click on the picture. This is where the magic happens!
My legs feel better and I'm sitting longer so progress is being made. The pain is still there but it's manageable and hope to be back driving soon. If you want to invite yourself over for a visit please don't be shy as your visits are the light keeping me going and I thank you dearly.
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Friday, January 9, 2015
Home again!
What type of animal would you use to describe yourself? Seems I've chosen a turkey. Yes a turkey, not your typical cozy choice but in a later analogy in this blog it'll all make sense. A turkey is the most popular bird in Canada and the US come fall so that's kinda cool, except we eat the turkey...so maybe that's not so cool after all. Let's move on shall we...gobble gobble!
The last week and a half brought many challenges and emotions while I was A La Hospital but it's also brought some memories I'll never forget. I reflected on these memories yesterday after I was discharged. I don't think I was alone for more than 1 hour a day, my friends and family constantly filled my room. I'm thinking now I probably got a private room to shield other patients of my madness and my constant flow of visitors rather than my unique condition. I want to share these episode like moments with you like a new comedy on NBC obviously titled "A La Hospital" I just hope they come across as funny in writing as they were in person. I will continue to share these episodes in other blogs as I can't share them all in one as there are too many and this blog would be a novel in size. No names shall be changed to protect any identities!
Hospital food...not the best but I give credit to the staff for running a tight ship. Every day my glorious meals arrived on time and with a smile. Keeping true to myself, I of course got to know my food porters and thanked them each time they dropped off my meal. Now here's the crazy part at least to me anyway. My meal times we're 7:30am, 11:30am, and 4:30pm. I don't know about you but when in hospital I sleep at 730am and who eats dinner at 4:30, lunch makes sense though. I don't think I ate a hot meal once, not because it came cold but because I was still sleeping.....duh...or too early a time for dinner. I asked one day why so early and was told our floor was the first to get delivered so it made sense but still common! When riding in the elevator back to my room after my MRI the food porter joined our elevator and said "See you in 5 minutes".
This next episode is probably the funniest of all now but not so much then! As you know last Saturday I had incredible pain in my right leg so cancelled all visits just having family with me trying to cope. My awesome nurses did all they could trying to stop my pain and 5 hours later the pain had subsided after many meds....many meds! Early evening came and I said to cousin Steph I really wanted to see one of my BFFS Cathy. She'd been away and I hadn't seen her since I was admitted. Off went the text asking her to come see me after one hell of a painful day. She of course said she'd come and asked what I needed. An apple I said....and bring a knife to cut it up. Soon after Cathy and her boyfriend arrive with a glorious apple. We hug & double kiss cause that's how we roll and she preps my apple and passes me a piece. Just one bite in I felt sick "I think I'm gonna puke"!
Puking is nobody's favourite thing but I'm an awful puker. I'll pace the hall and cry before I puke. I joke if I could puke I'd be skinny, but in no way do I support eating disorders, it's just some Carly humour....ok back to the apple!
I'm laying in my bed freaking out that I'm about to puke. Cathy presses the button on my bed to get me in an upright position (she later explains she didn't want me to choke on my vomit) but I scream as my sore leg is getting moved in the process. They frantically look for something for me to puke in, Cathy goes in the bathroom and comes out with my sits bath in which I puke. If you don't know what a sits bath is google it. Nurses come racing in clean me up & Cathy feels like her apple has caused me pain. What a moment, one I'll never forget.
I was told some more factual information about my progress. I've always been high risk since day 1 and remain so today even after the removal of Big Kahuna. In July two lymph nodes in my groin were removed and they were stage 3. I had more cancerous cells in my groin which were treated by radiation and chemotherapy. I've begun round 2 of healing
from this surgery so it shows that radiation has really done a number on me. My skin is so fragile in that area so we expect a hard recovery when I get Winnie (colostomy surgery). Hence the hyperbaric chamber. My super healing journey could start as early as Tuesday and I pray that whomever are in the chamber with we can at least talk some hockey. Come March-ish another PET scan will be done to ensure radiation has done it's job and no more cancer has grown back. Radiation has done lots to me including zapping my reproductive system, bye-bye babies, along with things I need not mention but you can assume. If I can't have a kid (totally OK with that) because of radiation then gosh darn it all my cancer will be gone!
from this surgery so it shows that radiation has really done a number on me. My skin is so fragile in that area so we expect a hard recovery when I get Winnie (colostomy surgery). Hence the hyperbaric chamber. My super healing journey could start as early as Tuesday and I pray that whomever are in the chamber with we can at least talk some hockey. Come March-ish another PET scan will be done to ensure radiation has done it's job and no more cancer has grown back. Radiation has done lots to me including zapping my reproductive system, bye-bye babies, along with things I need not mention but you can assume. If I can't have a kid (totally OK with that) because of radiation then gosh darn it all my cancer will be gone!
For now I concentrate on my upcoming move. I'm fortunate to have secured an apartment almost next door to my parents at an affordable price so I don't have to move in with my folks but were still super close if I need help or let's face it a home cooked meal! My folks need not worry about living with my cat Simba although I think my dad was kind of looking forward to that. Let's just say a laser pointer, my cat and my dad equals dad laughing extremely hard. It's always fun setting up a new place and I have lots of helpers for all aspects of my move.
So now about my calling myself a turkey. It's an analogy I use explaining my surgery to people who don't quite get it. A turkey is usually stuffed with stuffing and then stitched up. Well....big kahuna was the stuffing and the reason I got an infection is because the stitching came apart after they removed big kahuna. Are you having an ah-ha moment now.....make more sense. Turkey Carly...that's me!
#carly2conquercancer
XOXO
C
So now about my calling myself a turkey. It's an analogy I use explaining my surgery to people who don't quite get it. A turkey is usually stuffed with stuffing and then stitched up. Well....big kahuna was the stuffing and the reason I got an infection is because the stitching came apart after they removed big kahuna. Are you having an ah-ha moment now.....make more sense. Turkey Carly...that's me!
#carly2conquercancer
XOXO
C
Wednesday, January 7, 2015
Why me?
There is no answer for my question "Why me?" But as I lay in bed late at night with ice packs on both my legs crying alone, I sure as hell wish I knew why. I hope so much that this ugly path takes me somewhere beautiful I never thought I'd go.
Today was actually a really great day. I had my pain under control from what I believe was a bit of walking and hours of ice. Funny thing is my legs are so hot and tingly I couldn't feel the cold. Neurology came to evaluate me and when I removed the ice packs from my legs my skin was pink. Reminded me of being a silly kid jumping in snow with shorts on but I ran back in that time, I felt the cold. This time I only felt the cold when I put my hand on my leg.
She evaluated me with numerous tasks of following fingers, bending my toes, strength test and some were even with my eyes closed. But I'm awesome and passed all. When she made her way to my hips I lost the awesomeness as whatever point of my hip she pressed gave me a shock of pain and tears. She didn't seem to have any real idea about my pain and thinks perhaps another MRI but this time with dye which should show any nerve issues. She also mentioned that she saw fluid on both my hips on my CT scan. Now I'm no doctor but I see a common theme here, we just need to confirm and pin point the exact area of my hips I guess? Seems that her eyes saw something else on my CT as I was previously told all was clear.
So back to my good day. This morning I went to be evaluated at the hyperbaric chamber clinic. Seems I qualify for this treatment which will help heal my wounds ie:infection area from taking out big kahuna. I will undergo 40 sessions lasting 2.5 hrs each. I'll sit in a very upright chair and wear a bubble like mask or helmet. The oxygen will fill in the chamber and I'll feel nothing. Knowing me I'll sleep through it or talk with the other patients beside me as it holds 4-5 people. Maybe I'll make a friend? They have a web site with pictures so check it out. When I have my orientation I'll be sure to post pics to give you a more clear picture. It's not like a tanning bed, me all in white laying down like Snow White waiting for a kiss to wake me although that wouldn't be half bad would it
LOL
I thought I'd have no visitors today but at 330 that all changed. I had 3 BFFS in my room and boy did we laugh. Telling the stories on here might not make sense to you but I laughed so hard I needed some more meds as the laughter didn't fare my wounds well but oh so worth it!
Not long after the ladies left my uncle B, cousin Q and dad were in my room. We talked about all my crap then my dad told some story as he always does. It was great to have them in the room. My family is really being tested by my illness and I'm so proud of how each person is supporting me and coping. Couldn't ask for more. Not 30 min later Steph & her dog buddy came to visit. Buddy is the 3rd "therapy" dog to have visited me thus far. We watched the game and soon Steph and Buddy were on their way home.
Home...key word. Right now VGH is my home and I can't complain one bit as every nurse and doctor have treated me amazing, but when all the visitors are gone and the lights are off & it's time go to sleep I look around and it's not my home. I struggle with this every night and tonight I had to blog to settle me down. I shouldn't even be awake as i took a sleeping aid 1 hour ago but here I am.
Time to snuggle my robe and get some rest. The doctors come calling at 7am and I do not like such an early wake up call. I usually sleep a few hours more after they're done seeing me. When I wake up my breakfast sits on my table cold as nobody wants to wake me when it comes. Smart choice I say.
I leave you with a quote I shared in an earlier blog, "Scars are like tattoos but with a deeper story". Goodnight!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Today was actually a really great day. I had my pain under control from what I believe was a bit of walking and hours of ice. Funny thing is my legs are so hot and tingly I couldn't feel the cold. Neurology came to evaluate me and when I removed the ice packs from my legs my skin was pink. Reminded me of being a silly kid jumping in snow with shorts on but I ran back in that time, I felt the cold. This time I only felt the cold when I put my hand on my leg.
She evaluated me with numerous tasks of following fingers, bending my toes, strength test and some were even with my eyes closed. But I'm awesome and passed all. When she made her way to my hips I lost the awesomeness as whatever point of my hip she pressed gave me a shock of pain and tears. She didn't seem to have any real idea about my pain and thinks perhaps another MRI but this time with dye which should show any nerve issues. She also mentioned that she saw fluid on both my hips on my CT scan. Now I'm no doctor but I see a common theme here, we just need to confirm and pin point the exact area of my hips I guess? Seems that her eyes saw something else on my CT as I was previously told all was clear.
So back to my good day. This morning I went to be evaluated at the hyperbaric chamber clinic. Seems I qualify for this treatment which will help heal my wounds ie:infection area from taking out big kahuna. I will undergo 40 sessions lasting 2.5 hrs each. I'll sit in a very upright chair and wear a bubble like mask or helmet. The oxygen will fill in the chamber and I'll feel nothing. Knowing me I'll sleep through it or talk with the other patients beside me as it holds 4-5 people. Maybe I'll make a friend? They have a web site with pictures so check it out. When I have my orientation I'll be sure to post pics to give you a more clear picture. It's not like a tanning bed, me all in white laying down like Snow White waiting for a kiss to wake me although that wouldn't be half bad would it
LOL
I thought I'd have no visitors today but at 330 that all changed. I had 3 BFFS in my room and boy did we laugh. Telling the stories on here might not make sense to you but I laughed so hard I needed some more meds as the laughter didn't fare my wounds well but oh so worth it!
Not long after the ladies left my uncle B, cousin Q and dad were in my room. We talked about all my crap then my dad told some story as he always does. It was great to have them in the room. My family is really being tested by my illness and I'm so proud of how each person is supporting me and coping. Couldn't ask for more. Not 30 min later Steph & her dog buddy came to visit. Buddy is the 3rd "therapy" dog to have visited me thus far. We watched the game and soon Steph and Buddy were on their way home.
Home...key word. Right now VGH is my home and I can't complain one bit as every nurse and doctor have treated me amazing, but when all the visitors are gone and the lights are off & it's time go to sleep I look around and it's not my home. I struggle with this every night and tonight I had to blog to settle me down. I shouldn't even be awake as i took a sleeping aid 1 hour ago but here I am.
Time to snuggle my robe and get some rest. The doctors come calling at 7am and I do not like such an early wake up call. I usually sleep a few hours more after they're done seeing me. When I wake up my breakfast sits on my table cold as nobody wants to wake me when it comes. Smart choice I say.
I leave you with a quote I shared in an earlier blog, "Scars are like tattoos but with a deeper story". Goodnight!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Monday, January 5, 2015
Stings like a bee
It's been 4 days since I last wrote and so much has happened. I hope I can sum up such pain and suffering in a way you can easily understand.
I was responding well to the IV antibiotics and pain meds when I was admitted and then had the debridement surgery removing the infected tissue. I had a Greys Anatomy moment as the operating doctor and anesthesiologist are married. I told them I felt like I was on an episode and think I hit on Mcdreamy in my foggy state. Got to entertain when I can. I woke up in recovery and felt so much better and hoped I was on my way to being discharged and heading home.
On Saturday my right leg started to bother me, like a pins & needles feeling. I've had numbness in my right leg for a while but never like this. The numbness turned in to shocking pain from my hip to my knees. My thigh was on fire. To describe the pain I can only say it's like when your leg falls asleep but add in heat and a stabbing like pain. In half and hour I went from a pain level of 5 to 10. I was screaming in agony, I've never screamed like this during radiation or any other time of my life. The nurses pumped pain meds in to my IV but nothing was stopping the pain. They gave me a med that is for nerve pain and things calmed down but the pain hasn't gone away but the screaming has! This all happened over a 5 hour period. My family was with me and could do nothing but hold my hand and rub my back. Mom ended up staying the night so she could be with me and also see the doctors as they come early in the morning to discuss your progress and upcoming moments.
I had a CT scan and it showed no damage to bones so today I had an MRI which will hopefully show where the nerve pain derives from. I won't be leaving VGH until we have this answer and know now to control the pain and treat it. The meds I'm on now are not taking away the pain but I'm coping. Pain level of 7/8. I pray for a quick solution.
I'm able to get out of bed with strategy and make my way around but some moments are better than others. I know to get out of bed straight vs twisting to feel less burning and do leg stretches in bed to help calm the pain. I also walk around the ward with a walker looking like a granny but wearing my leopard print robe for a little bit of style.
Tomorrow morning I have a consult with the hyperbaric chamber team to see if I'm a candidate for this type of healing. I look forward to hearing more about it but it's basically me getting tons of oxygen in a room too help heal. I'll be sure to tell you more about it as it will definitely will be very interesting.
Until this leg issue is solved I'll remain in hospital but I have no idea how long that will be. Keep in touch as I love the visits. Keeps me sane and I love hearing about your lives to take some time away from mine.
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
I was responding well to the IV antibiotics and pain meds when I was admitted and then had the debridement surgery removing the infected tissue. I had a Greys Anatomy moment as the operating doctor and anesthesiologist are married. I told them I felt like I was on an episode and think I hit on Mcdreamy in my foggy state. Got to entertain when I can. I woke up in recovery and felt so much better and hoped I was on my way to being discharged and heading home.
On Saturday my right leg started to bother me, like a pins & needles feeling. I've had numbness in my right leg for a while but never like this. The numbness turned in to shocking pain from my hip to my knees. My thigh was on fire. To describe the pain I can only say it's like when your leg falls asleep but add in heat and a stabbing like pain. In half and hour I went from a pain level of 5 to 10. I was screaming in agony, I've never screamed like this during radiation or any other time of my life. The nurses pumped pain meds in to my IV but nothing was stopping the pain. They gave me a med that is for nerve pain and things calmed down but the pain hasn't gone away but the screaming has! This all happened over a 5 hour period. My family was with me and could do nothing but hold my hand and rub my back. Mom ended up staying the night so she could be with me and also see the doctors as they come early in the morning to discuss your progress and upcoming moments.
I had a CT scan and it showed no damage to bones so today I had an MRI which will hopefully show where the nerve pain derives from. I won't be leaving VGH until we have this answer and know now to control the pain and treat it. The meds I'm on now are not taking away the pain but I'm coping. Pain level of 7/8. I pray for a quick solution.
I'm able to get out of bed with strategy and make my way around but some moments are better than others. I know to get out of bed straight vs twisting to feel less burning and do leg stretches in bed to help calm the pain. I also walk around the ward with a walker looking like a granny but wearing my leopard print robe for a little bit of style.
Tomorrow morning I have a consult with the hyperbaric chamber team to see if I'm a candidate for this type of healing. I look forward to hearing more about it but it's basically me getting tons of oxygen in a room too help heal. I'll be sure to tell you more about it as it will definitely will be very interesting.
Until this leg issue is solved I'll remain in hospital but I have no idea how long that will be. Keep in touch as I love the visits. Keeps me sane and I love hearing about your lives to take some time away from mine.
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Thursday, January 1, 2015
4 days in
Coming to ya live from VGH this is your Captain speaking, your Cancer Captain that is. When on board flight 4C-4310 please know all exits and nurse stations to make this hydromorphone flight that much more enjoyable! Top drawer has some sweets and of course a corner window seat is available for all layover passengers.
It's been 4 days since I boarded this flight and it looks like there's some turbulence ahead but a soft landing in the end. Tomorrow (Fri) I will be admitted in to the operating room under general anesthetic for a procedure called debridement, a removal of infected tissue. Let's call it a tune up shall we, sounds much better! I expect after I wake from my tune up I'll be slightly tired and need some more rest in my first class cabin. We'll see what my doctors have to say tomorrow but I expect to be here until at least Sunday recovering and ensuring the infection is gone.
I've had so many passengers on my flight and should have charged a fare hahahaha. Uncles, aunts, cousins, best friends and coworkers have all come to see me and have kept me cheerful and entertained. They brought with them many tasty sweets and I thank you but going forward ask for no more as my tummy can't handle all the goodness at such a high flight level.
The nurses have been truly amazing and seem to like my humour and understand to close my room door at all times so I only ride my flight and not other patients flights who seem to have way more turbulence.
It's now 2015 and time has sure flown by since my diagnosis. I can't say 2015 will be the best year ever, but I can say it's almost the end of my flight and I'm looking forward to landing.
Happy New Year everyone!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
It's been 4 days since I boarded this flight and it looks like there's some turbulence ahead but a soft landing in the end. Tomorrow (Fri) I will be admitted in to the operating room under general anesthetic for a procedure called debridement, a removal of infected tissue. Let's call it a tune up shall we, sounds much better! I expect after I wake from my tune up I'll be slightly tired and need some more rest in my first class cabin. We'll see what my doctors have to say tomorrow but I expect to be here until at least Sunday recovering and ensuring the infection is gone.
I've had so many passengers on my flight and should have charged a fare hahahaha. Uncles, aunts, cousins, best friends and coworkers have all come to see me and have kept me cheerful and entertained. They brought with them many tasty sweets and I thank you but going forward ask for no more as my tummy can't handle all the goodness at such a high flight level.
The nurses have been truly amazing and seem to like my humour and understand to close my room door at all times so I only ride my flight and not other patients flights who seem to have way more turbulence.
It's now 2015 and time has sure flown by since my diagnosis. I can't say 2015 will be the best year ever, but I can say it's almost the end of my flight and I'm looking forward to landing.
Happy New Year everyone!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
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