Pre-Op

When I saw my surgeon on November 5th, I signed a few papers and was told I'd receive a call a week before surgery to review procedures and expectations.  Some of the papers I signed were regarding surgery do's and don'ts and the others were about donating tissue for cancer research.  I hit 2 chords signing those papers, the proud and scared chords.  The proud chord is hoping my cancer tissue samples can help someone in the future, perhaps help with advancements towards a cure.  The scared chord should be quite obvious.  Holy shit....I'm going to have major surgery and some sort of ending is coming.

Today marks 1 week pre-surgery to remove Big Kahuna and so came the call.  I expected this pre-op conversation to happen over the phone but was informed I must visit with a nurse and anesthesiologist for 1.5 hours on Friday.  I'll review medical history and hear how I'll be sedated and be able to ask any questions I may have.  

In recent conversations friends & family are inquiring about how they'll remove Big Kahuna, how long surgery will be and my recovery time.  To be perfectly honest I have no clue.  I decided early on in this journey some information is just not needed, at least for me anyway...or to save me from becoming an alcoholic LOL.  In the "ask questions" segment on Friday I will ask how long surgery will take but I need not know how Big Kahuna will make it's exit.  Maybe  after this is all over I'll find out but I'm dealing with enough emotionally right now.  I do know I'll stay at least 1 night post-surgery recovering at VGH but the rest will tell it's tale once they operate.

I've cried a lot since March but most of it was as a result of pain.  I never cried with my doctors or at any treatments, just at home with those who love me.  Now I'll cry just talking about this surgery.  I organized my closet and all my drawers to have my thoughts distracted.  I'm excited to say I feel like I have new clothes and shoes along with matching handbags long forgotten.

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C