When I was first diagnosed they sat me in a room and laid out my cancer future. My future was surgery, treatment, healing and surgery. I told myself to take it one step at a time and not to google anything. All Google did was freak me out more than a Haunted House at Halloween. I'm now at the healing stage which is going fairly well but I find myself reflecting on what I've gone through and what's to come.
I almost find this stage the most difficult. Each stage has been hard in its own way but right now I'm in limbo. I have no direct pain or crazy medications, just healing. My body is recovering from the treatment and tricking me that I'm all better & soon I'll be physically strong enough to undergo surgery to remove big kahuna. What comes with the removal of the tumour is TBD. This scares me more than anything I've been through thus far, the not knowing...the limbo.
In order to keep my mind from going to the dark side, I've been visiting with friends and family as much as I can. I've learned I still can't eat rich meals no matter how tasty they are but I've also adapted well to crowds and noisy spaces. I'm excited to announce I attended a Canucks game with little struggle....or big struggle if you consider my not being able to finish a beer!
I meet with my surgeon November 5th for a healing evaluation and hopefully learn my surgery date as well. I'm nervous. I'm scared. I'm anxious. I know I'll get through whatever is coming my way but I secretly wish this was all over. Some days.....some moments....I'm just done.
Today's big news was laundry and game 7 of the World Series. I was rooting for the Royals but happy for the Giants and their 3rd championship in 5 years. They're on their way to creating a dynasty and give me faith that you don't always win until the last at bat. I'm a decent batter.
#carly2conquercancer
XOXO
C
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