Routines are pretty important in life but right now, routine is my life! Gone are the days of "...see you 15...", spontaneous dinners or even a scenic car ride. Yet another thing cancer has taken away from me, although I'd like spontaneity back in the near future. I was the lively one, at work or at play, but always reliable and on time unless I couldn't control the circumstances.
Monday through Friday I have the same routine every day in order for me to get through the day. I need not bother you with the daily yogurt flavour, although I have a soft spot for fieldberry. I wake up, eat, leave, treatment, come home, eat and usually watch Jimmy Fallon (Tonight Show) episode from the night before. This is my week but it's how I manage. When a curve ball happens I cope but it has it's challenges.
I'm really struggling with food. I'm supposed to be eating low fibre but the struggle is that most low fibre is high sugar & obviously I don't want that. I tried the whole "just don't eat thing" but almost looked at Simba as a meal one day, so that was short lived!! But in saying that I almost do prefer not to eat because this trial and error or "see how sick (insert food) makes you" plan really sucks. I've got a guidebook but it's knocking hard on me. I just don't want food until I'm so hungry it hurts. This is super unhealthy but until my colonoscopy results due early April with a chrones, IBD, or colitis diagnosis, I just have to manage. I'll most likely go back to the BRAT diet (bananas, rice, apple sauce, toast). Or heck...maybe it's time for a liquid diet, you know the one, it's called Pinot Grigio or Vodka!!!
Healing continues to be good over time and with the hyperbaric sessions. I feel stronger everyday physically just tired often & as mentioned, not loving eating. Wish I could become a waif during all this but I take the no weight loss as a good sign. Most of the really sick people lose lots of weight before they pass and I'd rather have a booty than a plot!
You might have noticed this entry and a couple other blogs were written at early AM hours. You'll either see it by accessing site, or it will be emailed to you just after 11pm. I can't fix the mail out so just making you aware. And yes, I should be sleeping at these crazy times but sometimes writing helps me sleep. We're nearing 20,000 views but comments are lacking. Tell me your thoughts if you feel open to share.
I leave you with a lyric from a song by Pitbull called "Time of our Lives"
"This is for everybody going through tough times. Believe me..been there...done that, but everyday above ground is a great day, remember that"-Pitbull
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
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