Had you asked me 10 years ago where I'd see myself at 40 my answer would be different than today's reality. I most likely would have said I'd like to be married and have kids, be a stay at home mom if I was fortunate enough. Funny thing is I was no closer to those things then as I am now although cancer has sorta made me a stay at home mom to my cat if that counts!
One thing I've never heard myself or anyone else say when asked that question is "hope I'm alive at 40". That is exactly all I want to be at 40....and not so my 30 something wish list can come true but so my 40 something list can be born. Now don't get too excited about this list! I'm not going to become a hippie and live off the land or silly things like that...I wouldn't have even done that in my 20s, but I will concentrate on how I can be a better me emotionally, physically...any way possible. After all I'm not getting any younger right?
Some people might see 40 negatively but I see it as a glass half full in this thing called life. And why not celebrate making it to 40...it's pretty awesome..Amen to 40! Celebrate it and any other birthday cause you should be happy to see your friends, family, pets, whatever, for another year. If anything I think we put more timelines on things than we need to which drags us down. I saw a great quote the other day via Twitter "when things aren't adding up in your life, start subtracting". So true right?
I've had a better week physically which is fabulous as the last 2 weeks have been really hard. When I was diagnosed with Crohn's the doctor said I had a mild case but really he should have just said you're gonna have pain but others get it worse. Mild to me meant not too much pain, easy to cope, change a few things you're eating, mild taco seasoning vs spicy. Well wrong....It's awful. I joined a support group and boy do others really have it bad. So yes I do have a mild case in relation to them but it still sucks & is really hard. I just have Crohn's.
I'm going to try a couple new things this week. Auntie Shelly and I will head out for an evening stroll along the course and I'm also going to head to the track. No not to become the oldest woman's sprinter in the next summer Olympics, just to walk. A wise man recommended I walk the track & I feel I'm in a good space to now give it a try. Put on my headphones and walk round & round to some good music...my version of sweating to the oldies. I've noticed that my leg pain seems to be better the more I exercise. My bike rides helped with the pain but the numbness is never gone. 3 weeks ago I thought I'd never get to this point & now here I am. Training my mind & body is 64.7% of the battle, maybe 65%!
I took a look at my blog viewer records and it seems I'm global. Canada, USA, France, Russia, New Zealand, Mexico, South Africa, UK, Germany, Netherlands & Poland. Thank you all so much for reading. You help me by following and I hope I help you in someway too. Hopefully you laugh at my humour and if you're someone dealing with or affected by cancer in any way, I hope I gave you what you needed.
My 30's wish list might not have come true, but I wouldn't change a thing. I have no doubt that I'll rock my 40's and I won't have to pay a babysitter to do it!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
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