Chocolate

To some choclate is a sweet many can't say no to, but me, I'd pick a jellybean any day over chocolate. This Easter I had a secret bunny who left a lovely chocolate treat on my door, and it was even wrapped all pretty!  I can't seem to figure out who this mystery hopping bunny is, but I thank you whoever you are. Although I prefer a jellybean I couldn't let my mystery bunnys efforts go to waste, so indulged in the sweet chocolate. Lesson 278....chocolate and Crohn's don't pair well.

I've read a lot of brochures, books, even joined an online support group, but my biggest issue through cancer recovery is food. The radiation has brought my Crohn's so much to the forefront, that I just hate to eat. When I know I'll be out all day & travelling I simply don't eat or pick away at the usual couple things I know won't make me sick. Not being able to eat raw vegetables, seeds, nuts, lettuce, having to watch my fibre intake, trying to avoid wheat & dairy, like what am I left with!  It's so frustrating & I look forward to getting some dietary help. I'm done with the journals, the try and find out method....I want help and soon. 

Getting help isn't always so easy. I visited my family doctor, had 3 visits to the ER (misdiagnosed) & waited 5 months in horrific pain to see a specialist, before being diagnosed with stage 3 vulva cancer. I called the specialist every day hoping for a cancellation, wishing they'd squeeze me in but no such luck.  Once you're a "member" of the cancer club help comes your way. I had scans and my first surgery within a week. I remember saying to myself I'd always fight for help moving forward and now find myself back in the same boat. When I visited with my oncologist a couple weeks back I expressed my needs and concerns and she listened. I now have an appointment with a psychiatrist and my Gastroenterologist on May 10th. Thanks Dr. Lee for listening and helping me since July 2014. 

If I can get my food issues under control I think my anxiety will take a back seat. To know that I've remained cancer free for 13 months is amazing but in order to enjoy the life I fought so hard for this has to change.  I'll know soon if I've been accepted to Kwantlen and will need a steady food routine long before the September semester begins. I'll train myself with a consistent sleeping routine and an early wake up call for daily prep.  Where's my nutritionist fairy godmother?  Hope she hears my tears like Cinderellas godmother did hers!

So for now I continue as I have been in hopes of some new practices and medications by mid May. I'll make sure not to indulge in any more chocolate no matter how many treats you may leave me but should you leave jellybeans, can you throw out the coffee ones?  They're so yucky! LOL  

XOXO

#carly2conquercancer

C