As of Wednesday I can no longer say that. I walked in to the Cancer Agency for my monthly check up feeling good, no nerves, no real concerns and no mom holding my hand(silly for a grown woman to say but she's been my rock). I had a friend visiting me the previous night so she came along curious with it all. Usually I'd sit in the waiting room twiddling my thumbs, thinking of possible scenarios but instead found myself reminiscing. Telling her stories of other visits & lessons learned and not needing comfort before my name was called.
The doctor was pleased with my progress. She sees no obvious signs of cancer, no tumour like tissue and pending my November MRI, thinks all looks good. She reminded me that imaging hasn't always been a good resource for me. Had we solely relied on scan images I would have had the colostomy by now. Imaging is still very important but more to see if cancer comes back in the same area or somewhere else.
At this stage of recovery I find my body and mind becoming one again. "Never have I ever felt this good in close to 2 years". I've still got lots of work ahead of me to get to where I need to be, but seeing it, feeling it, tasting it, sure is special. I still conquer with the mentality of one day at a time, but back to looking at life as a big picture. I see my future and starting to make it a reality.
A friend of mine watches the sunset almost every night and there are some great places in Tsawwassen and Ladner to observe. "Never have I ever REALLY taken the time to watch a sunset". This week I'll go to one of these spots, watch the sunset and then say "never have I ever seen something so beautiful"
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
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