Tattoo time!

Tattoo time came and went today, no heart, no stars....just looks like another freckle!

I thought of talking to the radiologist like Tattoo from the hit show Fantasy Island ('77-'84), "Look boss da plane, da plane!"  & I thought to call this blog "The tale of two tattoos" .....but I have 3 so that made no sense and for once in my life was too chicken to talk funny to a perfect stranger!

Today was the last day of prep before my radiation and chemotherapy start.  In my pink v-neck tshirt and paisley pink PJ pants, mom and I set off to the Cancer Clinic at 9am arriving slightly early as "Allen training" prepared us to do.  Mom dropped me at the front doors, went to park the car and met up with me shortly thereafter. 

The floors of radiology on the 2nd floor have color lines that guide you to your waiting room.  I had no idea which color to follow so rolled the dice and purple it was.  I'm wobbling along and getting deeper and deeper in to these halls.  I thought I might join in on someone's therapy or something.  Finally I see a desk and I told the ladies I was here for my radiation mapping and CT appointment.  She checked me in on her computer but advised me I was to have checked in by the elevators and to have followed the red lines.  I turned around followed purple till it met red and found my waiting room.  

I didn't have quite enough water in my bladder in order to start, so had to pound back water like it was jagermeister at The Roxy.  Without water they told me the scan would be flat like a pancake with poor visibility.  I told them I'd love the day my stomach was as flat as a pancake! LOL

Today's CT scan didn't involve the warm dye and the ugly man voice ...just a scan.  I was so relieved and the scan was quick & painless.  The tattoos were just a prick of ink on each hip bone and below my belly button.  These tattoos will guide my radiation each time I come in so we don't radiate where unnecessary. 

We sat in an information room reviewing side effects and treatment protocol. I was told no alcohol whatsoever....like none..zilch.  I mean I'm not looking to get crazy tipsy but I'm gonna be dry for a while!  H2O is the way to go!  The nurse checked my surgery area today and I'm healing well.  Just walking very oddly so will use a cane for balance and to ease the pressure on my hips.  

Over the next 10 days they plan out my strategy and on August 11th, 5 days before my 39th birthday, I start radiation.  I've been told it's going to be really tough.  I'll be exhausted, I'll be sore and possible loss of appetite to name a few.  The doctors are amazing and since I'm receiving daily treatment, they'll have a good read on my progress and will monitor me really close.  5 weeks is the plan but I could require 5-8 additional sessions pending on how big kahuna responds to being zapped!

Until August 11th it's leisure time....or cocktail hour ha ha ha. I'd love to visit with you, talk with you or cry with you...well maybe not cry!   Most likely I'll be catching up on my PVR shows laughing at Jimmy Fallon jokes & many Netflix series.  I'm still not allowed to drive Snowflake since I remain on my pain killers so you just have to pick me up or come to my place.  Drop me a line!

As always thanks for your love and support. Every day I'm truly blown away with so much love and care.  

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C

Home sweet home!

After 3 days of recovery at mom & dad's,  I'm back at my apartment with my fur babies. As always Simba can't get enough of me & Nalla could care less. Thanks to my friend Cindy for checking on them the last few days & the many days to come. 

Today I became more hip & up on the latest by receiving an iPad from my angelic cousins. It was so unexpected & so appreciated my glasses fogged from all the tears of love & joy. It's so easy to type especially with a healing lymph node & easier to take from A to B than my laptop. Now to bling it up with a cool case!

Tomorrow my aunt Karen (known as AK) & I are off to my chemo learning clinic. About 1.5 hours of learning all about how it happens to how I'll feel.  I'll only be receiving chemo once a week so side effects won't be as harsh as many other patients go through. I won't lose my hair but was never afraid to as I secretly hoped curly-curls would grow back LOL 

AK will drive me back to my folks Tuesday & Wednesday AM mom & I head to my radiation mapping.  I'm curious to see what these mapping tattoos look like. They'll blend in to my freckles & moles I'm sure. I'll then have another CT scan & get to hear that awesome computer voice again ha ha ha. I expect to find out when my treatment will start but I'm guessing August 5th. 

The rest of the week I'll be able to chill. Perhaps a pedicure & for sure some highlites!!

Thank you to everyone who has visited, called, wrote or any way supported me these last 3 weeks. You're amazing people & I'm lucky to have such supportive people in my life! 

#carly2conquercancer 

XOXO

C

Healing hurts!

You've heard the saying "Mind over matter" right?  Well I call BS on that!  LOL

I actually do believe in that saying but last night as I had the chills, then was warm, I cried & then I laughed (sorta), was not sleepy and then suddenly exhausted, "Mind over matter" went straight out the window!

People I've spoken to be it Cancer survivors or doctors, told me I'll have highs and lows, and last night at 10:38pm I had my first low.  This low came after a lovely day of visits from family and friends which I need to keep me busy and upbeat.

My body has just had major surgery and I need to remember I'm not She-ra Princess of Power my childhood idol. I need to relax, I need to heal, I need to face reality.

After a rough night of sleep, I hope today is better.  We have a lovely dinner planned tonight and I look forward to it. I'll rest up all day and stay off my feet...well I hope so anyhow!

Have a great Funday Sunday folks!

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C

Are all male doctors hot???

Surgery #1 is over (insert clapping crowd sound here)

I wasn't too sure what to expect this AM but things went well overall. I only had 1 mini cry and I'm not even sure which reason I cried for.  It was either

A) being nervous for the injection that they told me would sting like a bee 

OR

B) the doctor who did the injection was hot and my age

LET'S GO WITH B lol

This morning I had a dye injection near Big Kahuna that enhanced it and any lymph node "stuff" by a scanning transformer like machine. Pics were printed, sealed and I gave to surgeon at time of admitting.

I had nearly 3 hours until surgery so Katyann (Uncle's amazing GF) picked me up and we wasted the time away together.

As we were driving to the clinic they called and asked where I was.  They we're ready for me....early!  She sounded surprised I didn't spend 3 hours in the uncomfortable hospital chair, but I informed her I was close and on my way.  

I arrived was prepped and even had a nurse I knew.  A soccer mom I haven't seen in years.  Funny how these things happen.

In the operating room The Canucks were our topic vs counting backwards. I say Vrbata scores 35 goals!  Worked like a charm, lights out...hopefully not a sign for the Canucks!  I woke up in recovery, still knowing who I was and still fighting this battle.  Mom drove me back to my parents where I'll be all weekend trying to figure out how to lie down.  Left side, right side, on my back...shoot it's frustrating & I've already sworn a few times!

-Hope this sounds ok as I'm still on some meds ha ha ha

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C

One more day...

Woke up this morning and reality is really sinking in.  Tomorrow is day 1(or surgery 1) of this long journey!

Dad is picking me up at 330pm, we're off to do some errands and then to my new home away from home.  What shall I call this home?  How about Wonderland.  I'm assuming as I spend time in Sandy's lovely bsmt suite I'll wonder many things, so it seems appropriate.

I've had surgeries before when they "put you under" but it's always a little nerve wracking.  As long as I'm not like a character on ER who never wakes up, we'll be good LOL  I wear contacts as my vision is -4.5 so whenever I'm without contacts or my glasses things look cloudy.  You're lying on the bed, you can't see clearly, and the gas mask comes and you need to count...ya I'll admit it scares me some!

From what I gather the doctors are concerned about the cancer cells in my groin somewhat more than Big Kahuna.  Big Kahuna causes the pain however these cells could cause more damage if they spread and/or grow.  Friday the lymph node on my right groin/bikini line is what they're removing and radiation will do the rest.

Speaking of radiation, it has come to my attention I might get my 1st tattoo!  This is not yet fact but I'll know soon.  I hear when they map your areas of radiation they put permanent black dots or tattoo's so they'll always know where to go.  We wash our skin & our skin sheds so this kinda makes sense.  I have no tattoo's so I'm going to see if they can make mini stars and hearts instead hahahahahaha

Because tomorrow starts so early I don't expect to be blogging until Saturday. As soon as I can be back on I will and you'll get your cray-cray update!

Thanks for all your support and love

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C

Can't plan everything..

Today I'm watching Maury Povich when the phone rings and the Cancer Clinic wants me to come in at 4pm for a CT scan.  I didn't have this in my weekly plan so was a little taken back. 

Since I'm on a form of morphine I'm not allowed to drive Snowflake, so my amazing father came & drove me and listened to me read this blog as he's not so up to speed on this kinda thing!(he's worried what I'm saying on here LOL)

So far most of my appointments have been running late so dad was off to the cafe for a coffee and most likely a muffin thinking it would be a while.  We we're early as "Allen Life Training" always has you early...well maybe not my brother!

So I check in and expect to wait but was called in right away. Since this was an unexpected visit, I wasn't up on my research as to what a CT scan really was.  So in I walk in my amazing new PJs and even makeup!  Next thing you know the technician is telling me to pass her my hand.  I told her I didn't know her well enough to get fresh and she chuckled but really it was because I needed and IV for an injection.

So in goes the IV and I lay down on the bed arms propped to be scanned.  I'm thinking OK this ain't so bad.  She says listen to the voice and I'll be back after.  It's a test run she says.  So the bed starts moving and the creepy computer man voice tells me to breath in, hold my breath then breath again.  You think they could have a more soothing voice.  The skytrain lady would be better than this guy.  I'd even take the annoying bell too.

So that finishes, she comes back in and tells me she's now injecting a warm dye and I'll be warm and feel like I'll have to pee. Not to worry though I won't actually pee and nobody ever has.  All I could think was watch me be the 1 person who does... but I didn't LOL

The injection goes in and holy what a creepy weird feeling.  I've never done hard core drugs but feeling that pumping through my veins was so weird.  Creepy man speaks to me again and it's over.

Only about 20 minutes had passed so I don't think dad even had time for a muffin before I messaged to come and pick me back up.

Now you might be thinking why was I watching Maury Povich of all shows?  Well my friends, it is the one show I watch that makes me realize that my life is pretty darn good.  Those people are pretty cray-cray! "You are not the father!" ba ha ha ha

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C

Put me to sleep Doc!

3 sleeps until my first surgery.  I spoke with doctors yesterday and Friday is an early start.  Don't they know me and know I'm not a morning person....lol

Dad & I will stay at my "home away from home" Thurs night as showtime starts at 740am at VGH.  I have to report to the Nuclear Medicine dept where I will have a dye injection followed by a scan an hour later.  This helps the surgeon see exactly where she has to remove the tumor on my groin/bikini line area.

After that I have some down time to read trashy magazines and watch some Netflix before I'm admitted at noon at the Cancer Agency.  Surgery should start at 1pm and last about an hour.  2 hours in recovery and then my lovely mother will pick me up and try to make sense of my slurs!

I've been told the recovery is pretty easy but ya never know.  I'll be staying at my parents for the weekend and hopefully home Sun or Mon.  If anyone wants to come out to sunny Tsawwassen for a visit that's where I'll be!

It's funny how when you spend time at home you really see what happens during the day vs being at work.  Who cuts their lawn at 730am????? Some people are just too keen.

Thanks for all your reads on here as I really appreciate it.  Please comment if you'd like, I'd love that!  If you don't have a gmail account you can select anonymous to post & just sign in your post.

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C

Can you get highlites when in treatment?

When my cousin was over today we were chatting away and POOF...what about keeping up a decent hairstyle?  I know I can't wear makeup when in for surgeries but if I can't highlite my hair until Sept action MUST be taken in the next 48 hrs!

My mom has got me some super cute new PJs so how dare I have roots while sporting some cute style down the halls...I might feel like sh*! but there's no way I wanna look like sh*! too!!!!!

If any man is reading this that has loved me from afar for the last 2o years and dreams of having children with me, you too have 48hrs! LOL

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C

Therapy therapy therapy!

If you know me well you know I like to name things.  My car is named Snowflake and my cruiser bike is Mango.  I've decided to call my large tumor (which is deriving from my bartholin gland and sitting on my anal sphincter) Big Kahuna. It's about 4x2 in size and what is causing me such pain.

So here`s the low-down.

Big Kahuna is in the way and in order to remove him, we need him to shrink in size.  I'll undergo 5 weeks of daily radiation (M-F) and during these 5 weeks I will also have chemo once a week.  I've been told it's a lower dose so I won't have side effects like losing my hair.  During these 5 weeks I'll receive radiation on my pelvis, vagina (hard to type that word) and my buttocks.  

There are some cancerous cells in my groin as well so radiation will kill these bad boys along the way.  I do have to have surgery this Fri on my right groin as there is a tumor there that we need out prior to radiation.  This is surface surgery so recovery should be easy...so they say!  

All in all my stage is said to be stage 3 but they wouldn't put me through all this if they didn't think the tumor would shrink and be able to removed without complication.  I'm only going to say this next sentence once cause this is really my biggest fear.  If they took the tumor out today I would need a colonoscopy and would live with a bag for the rest of my life.  Did your jaw just fall to the floor, cause mine sure did!  You know how we say no to drugs, well now we say no to bags! LOL

My mom's dear friend Sandy has been kind enough to offer up her lovely basement suite near King Ed & Main as my home away from home.  As treatment goes on I'll see how I do, but the idea is to stay there every other day and then come to my apt in between.  I need snuggles with my kitties!  Here I'll be able to leave things vs having a bag on my shoulder each day and also have visitors when I'm up to it.  

Once radiation is over is Sept, I'll rest up for a bit or as I call it "radiation rehab" and then in Oct or Nov Big Kahuna will be removed.  Hopefully hes small Kahuna by then LOL. This will be the toughest recovery of them all but I can't wait for this day to come and be pain free.

One last shocker is since I'm getting such fierce and direct radiation to my center, I won't be able to have children.  Over the last few years I decided I wasn't going to have kids but now it's a for-sure thing.  I'm OK though cause I had this decided prior but now cancer is really making my mind up for me.  I could harvest my eggs and then get a surrogate but that's not my path in life.  Also I don't want to be a mid-40's momma.  I see myself travelling or just sleeping in ha ha ha  This is good news for my nieces & nephews and friends children 'cause I'll spoil them silly even more than I already do!

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C

Blogging vs clogging

OK so here we go!

Of course we all know why we're here..Carly has cancer.  Yup and of course it's rare cause I just can't be like other cancer patients right?  Just my stupid luck but it is what it is.  I'd rather be clogging vs blogging right now (actually just dancing but clogging rhymed lol) but this is what I've been dealt and this is what I shall overcome.

My fantastic mother has been sending out updates to many and then others have been texting, calling, or facebooking and I thank you from the bottom of my heart.  The amount of well wishes I've received has kept me humble and in check.  I really believe those messages are what is keeping me strong thus far.

I want to make this blog informative for you all but also humorous and therapeutic.  A place where we can share our thoughts and happenings and it will also save my phone from beeping as often ha ha ha ha

This is my first experience blogging so let's see how this goes!

XOXO

C