Let's Talk

Today was #BellLetsTalk day in Canada, a day bringing forth awareness to mental issues.  It's such a great campaign but I got to admit I used to think it was awareness for the "crazies".  Call me ignorant, but I used to picture what we'd classify as "nutty people", people who talked to themselves on street corners or maybe even addicted to drugs. Full circle moment for me over the last couple years as I have become one of those people who talks to themselves but fear not am not addicted to drugs 👍

As I was going through my cancer battle anxiety came to the forefront and I struggled, and still struggle post cancer. I used to think it was chemo or radiation that made me "nutty" and it kinda is what brought it on, but it's so dang hard to say goodbye to.  Anxiety is a huge struggle for many people and a type of mental issue getting lots of attention. During treatment I needed medication as I could hardly sit still, after treatment I needed medication as I feared not sitting still and now, although off all anxiety medications, talk to myself and consider myself "nutty".  Every morning I have a routine to follow just to get out of the house (I won't bore you with those details) and as I walk to my car for my 3 minute commute to work, repeat over and over "YOU CAN DO THIS CARLY...YOU CAN DO THIS!"  

Many high profile people such as Canadians Jann Arden or Melissa Grelo from Canadas talk show 'The Social', have acknowledged they too have had anxiety issues.  It comforts me that it's become socially acceptable to talk of our struggles and get support from people you love or even perfect strangers who may read your blog, a new mutual friend or even off of social media. Many people struggle and choose to keep their battle hidden, but I choose to talk it out, to rid of it in the tough moment, and to feel like a champion when I do what I was setting out to do. 

There's so much going on in this world that it's easy to let it affect you. Surrounding ourselves with positivity and people who support us is so so important, but sometimes easier said than done. I wish the best for everyone who struggles and hope that they too can conquer one day at time..that's all we have until the next day comes. "YOU CAN DO THIS...you can do this..."

XOXO

#carly2conquercancer

C

HNY

It's insane to me that we just rang in the year 2017. At times I still feel like I was just walking the halls in high school, but then my head shakes itself and all my years of memories coming flooding in. Every Jan 1st, I like many of you, reflect back on some of my best memories and some of my worst. All these memories have made me who I am and brought me to where I am, and call me crazy, I wouldn't change a thing.....well maybe just a couple hair styles!

On this past Dec 18th I woke up and was feeling a lot of abdominal pain and my radiated skin areas were not as per usual. I was on days off so had lots of rest and hoped it was just a one off and things would go back to normal. Unfortunately things only increased and found myself back in the hospital for a 2 day stay.  I was never concerned too much it was cancer related as I'd just had my latest PET scan, but clearly something was wrong and as much as I can handle pain now more than before, I was struggling.

Long story short I had a skin infection which normal non radiated people (sounds funny) could easily fend off, but yours truly could not. A CT scan was ordered to ensure nothing was wrong internally, and blood work came back normal. At my most medicated state my texts and emails were definitely off, and those who received them laughed at my jibberish 😁  Antibiotics and a week off work followed until my swelling was at a point I could stand again. Initially Crohn's was thought to be the cause hence the CT scan in case my intestines were in distress, but yet again cancer side effects were to blame. I'm happy to report I'm pretty much recovered and danced the night away on New Years Eve!

I often wonder if these side effects or one offs will ever stop, but there's just no way to know. Pelvic radiation is/was pretty intense so have to remind myself to slow down sometimes.  I'm not the same even though I like to think I am. I'm sure not the same girl walking the high school halls in her Keds and matching Roots sweater, but I am still me and like to think that's pretty awesome.

I thought I might end this blog a couple months back as it's main purpose was to communicate through my cancer battle. Cancer no longer defines my life but it still is a part my life and of who I am. Checkups still exist every 3 months and one offs clearly still happen, so when updates are there a blog will pop up.

Last February I raised money for the BC Cancer Agency via 'Lose the Booze' and will be doing so again this year. Nice thing about this fundraising is it doesn't take your time you just gotta go online...oh that's catchy! I'll be sure to post a blog closer to Feb 1 with all information if you'd like to help the place who saved my life and hopefully many more.

Wishing you all a happy healthy and fabulous 2017.

XOXO

#carly2conquercancer

C