Making a mark

It's funny how things change.  I used to love soaking in a nice hot bath forgetting any issues from the day or anything else on my mind.  It was where I could escape. Now a bath is where I think of my journey, my past & my future.  I find myself staring at the tile wall details and losing myself in thought and seeing things.  Now when I say seeing things I don't mean leprechauns and rainbows, I mean flashbacks or premonitions.  Sometimes I've seen things that don't fall in to my recovery plan and it upsets me.  I don't know if I'm bringing on these images or if it's fact.  Needless to say I'm taking showers as much as possible. 

I often struggle with how I could leave my mark in this world should I pass in my 40's or in my 90's.  I struggle with this so much that I cried watching The View the other morning.  A 15 year old girl has created her own company selling jewelry for Ugg type boots as well as button like charms.  She's leaving her mark....I bawled. Watching the Grammys I see these artists who've left such beautiful songs for me, you and others to enjoy.  They too left their mark....I bawled. 

Reading Oprah's book titled "What I Know For Sure" has enlightened me on "leaving my mark".  She explains you don't have to be Oprah to leave your mark, you just have to be you. So simple a concept but oh so true. I'm a good person, a good friend, a good daughter, a good cousin, a good niece, a good sister, a good cat-mommy. I've left my mark with all of you as you have with me.  This does not mean I have given up hope for my own sitcom called "Single & In Love with a Martini" cause I know it would be a hit!

Today (Thursday) was my 20th hyperbaric chamber treatment so I'm half way to the finish line. My fellow hyperbaric partners are such great people. Every day we sit in the lounge pre-treatment and talk about our families, books, movies or even thoughts on purple hair.  I would never have met these people had I not got cancer.  I'm learning that no matter how awful cancer is and how much pain it may bring, it can also bring joy and new things or people to be thankful for. 

In other news the Canucks face the Bruins Friday night.  My flashback to 2011 when we went to the finals, and my premonition is a win. This however does not come out of a bath of thoughts it's just me hoping for a victory.  Go Canucks Go!

#carly2conquercancer

XOXO

C