Sleeping pills

Sleeping pills are great. They help you sleep...simple.  But clearly my Zopiclone isn’t quite doing it’s job as I’m awake and couldn’t stop thinking but to write a blog. I so miss writing but my medications are holding back some of my creative chops. They also are to blame for last blogs run on sentences and spelling errors Hahaha!

I’m more up and down with this recovery than Ricky Martins career. Today I woke up and within an hour found myself hysterically crying over this surgery, over my pain, cancer,....my life in general. I called for my mother like I would have at age 8 when I skinned my knee on the crosswalk playing jacks. I needed to be kissed better before I could carry on then & now. This time I texted her to hurry over whereas in the 80’s she just heard me from the kitchen table chatting on the phone wired to the wall. “Gotta go Sue, I can hear Carly crying away” she’d no doubt say. Today she walked in my apt, helped wipe my hysteria of tears and said it’ll all be ok. No bandaid today as my wounds different than 1983 but nonetheless she got me back up on my feet ready for the next jump. 

Today I went to the Ostomy Clinic in New West. If you’re reading this, live in Vancouver general area, this is the place to go for all ostimates. Each time I meet with my nurse we evaluate my stoma, my pains, my bag and even me if there’s time left over. I started with a different bag that constantly leaked and now my new Winnie stays on for up to 4 days thus far. This week we’re pushing for 5. I have all the tools and training to change at home should Winnie need refreshing before my Friday visit, but I quite enjoy my visits. Of course I’m new to this ostomy world so now I feel I can’t live without them, but over time I’ll find myself there for supplies and a hello as I’ll be coping with Winnie just fine. 

If you’ve ever been super sick you really see who’s there to help. And if you haven’t ever been really sick take some time to think about who you want and who you think will be there for you. I’m not saying your pal in Mozambique needs to move home, although that would be impressive, I mean more family and close friends. My parents have been so amazing I just need to tell you more. My dad is the AM Man!  He arrives at 8am, either waking me and Simba up, or joining our morning mugshot faces. He makes me breakfast usually a piece of toast followed by a tad of oatmeal. He collects garbage from around the house and scoops Simbas litre box. I can’t lift or bend so he’s stepped up in my place. Pretty sure dad will tell you he gets a kick outta Simba. He’s a 17 year old always hungry cat who’s rail thin. You see his hip bones but please know he’s over fed and just old with hyperthyroidism. He does have hearing loss but his sense of smell & eye sight bang on. He really is a special cat & we’ve loved our 17 years together and looks like more to come. 

I’ve seen some of you lately and still haven’t seen some others. Please know I welcome visits it just has to be planned. I’ve got home care nurses, wound care nurses & Dr appts so always work around those. I’ll tell you no if I’m overwhelmed and I’ll tell you yes if you can help get me overwhelmed lol. I’m going to be recovering a long while so don’t feel you have to flock over. I’d love help in my garden once it’s time to plant, and I’m getting pink flamingos for this years theme. Just been wanting them for some nutty reason, but I’ll do it right. All my plants will clearly need to match that vibe!  I can’t wait to see the outcome, I just love planting season. 

In this blogs opening paragraph I spoke of sleeping pills, and it’s now kickin my eye lids quite heavily. It’s time to rest. Time to recharge. Time to dream of tomorrow. Time to dream of the end of recovery. Time to dream of a beach vacation with my folks & Winnie. At least Winnie doesn’t need her own seat, she’s got me. I’ve got her. 💩 lol 

XOXO

C

#carly2conquercancer

#winniethepouch