Wednesday will be 2 weeks since I heard I'm cancer free. What a couple of weeks it has been or as we say en Francais, deux semaines.
At first it was total elatement to know cancer is currently no longer living in my body. All the chemo, radiation, medications, surgeries and hyperbaric treatment did their jobs killing the cancer. All those tears, the pacing, the aches...everything, was worth it. I'm back, or am I?
The past 13 days came and went & I quickly figured out that I'm not "back" nor am I the same person I was before. Some of these points positive some negative, some harder to handle emotionally and others physically. My brain and total joy of being cancer free tricked me a little, so now I need to adjust. Obviously my personality is still the same, nothing will ever take that away from me, but things like my social abilities and longevity have definitely changed. My nerve pain in my right leg varies according to what I do but I'm hoping with strength exercises it will improve. I have way too many cute heels that I don't want to never wear again as a result of this pain!
I have stepped out to visit some friends and attended a cancer charity event with my brother. When I'm comfortable I manage just fine, but when a problem arises and rattles me I struggle. Things I would have shrugged off before have become more important or more at the forefront. I think it's a combination of what I've been through and also knowing what things should not be taken for granted. I have confidence that with time I'll deal better with these obstacles but nothing happens toute suite!
So after saying that I feel stronger in other ways. I feel that no matter what life throws my way, that I can handle anything. When you have no choice you just handle it and lean on those you can to get through the moment. I think I'm a better person, a better daughter, sister, friend, niece, cousin...a better me. Every night I dream of my future and can't wait to see what will be. Every morning I wake up and take another step forward.
The old saying time heals all wounds really is true, just wish I could speed up the clock a bit! I'll be in my happy place tomorrow night, Rogers arena, and a Canucks win will sure make me and the city feel a lot better!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Well, You got your Wish!
ReplyDeleteA big win for the Boys.
Wear that Blue and white proudly.
I can smell Play Offs:)
The secret of change is to focus All your energy, not on the old but building and enjoying the New. " Socrates"
Cheers,
Great win but the playoff race continues! Great quote....thanks
ReplyDeleteCheers !