This year February has 29 days which is a good thing for my friends daughter who's born on leap year! For me this is the first time in my life where I'll be cutting out all alcohol willingly. Obviously I wasn't drinking while undergoing cancer treatment, but I sure enjoy a social cocktail when healthy and able.
I follow the BC Cancer Foundation on various social media feeds, which is how I came to know of this months fundraising called 'Lose The Booze'. It's simple....you don't drink. People sponsor you and the money goes directly to the BC Cancer Foundation. There are lots of fundraisers for cancer but usually for specific cancers. Did you know that lung cancer is the number 1 killer in women's cancers? You might have though breast cancer since it gets the most attention. My cancer is so rare that it would never get its own event so this just seemed to make sense to me. All cancers need to be fought so let's share the pot! Did I just make up a new hashtag!? Lol
I'm so thankful for all the support I've received thus far. I'm slightly in the lead of all single participants and it's all because of the love you have in your hearts for me and the battle against cancer. No donation is too small...no donation too big! It's inspiring me to have a healthy and prosperous month. It's inspiring me to keep this fight alive.
I've had a few rough days of late and I never really know why. It could be from my Crohn's, but really it could be because of a load of things. I don't think I'll ever know. I just have to cope and remember there is always someone who's worse off. Simba seems to distract me with his OCD of licking himself. I secretly think he always wanted to be a hairless cat or he's like me and appreciates good hair.
I mentioned before that I'm looking for a PT job close to home. I had an interview and things seemed to go well. I just wonder if employers will be scared to hire a recent survivor. I'm not withholding this information in my interview. There's a gap on my resume and can't say I was building houses in another country, I tell the truth. It's part of who I am, my baggage. And really is my baggage that bad? I hope not but think I might be silly to rule it out. It would be discrimination for sure so let's hope I get the call. I'm very qualified for this position so I'm optimistic.
Anyone who'd like to sponsor me please visit www.losethebooze.ca and search my name. It's very simple and very appreciated.
Wishing everyone a fabulous February...all 29 days of it!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
Monday, January 25, 2016
Legacy & funeral
Some big names in music died in early 2016 most of them as a result of cancer, Bowie arguably one of the biggest names. Most generations knew him from his music, fashion and later marrying Iman. Celine Dion's long time manager and husband, Renee Charles, was laid to rest in Montreal with a grand funeral. With these entertainers and so may other regular day people losing their battles it got me thinking as to how I'd be remembered and what my funeral would be like.
A friends dad passed away a couple weeks ago so I attended his funeral in support of her. He was 91 so had a long life but suffered in the end with Alzeimers. I have a dear uncle also going through this and seeing how hard it is on their loved ones just makes me think cancer is the better of 2 evils. As sick as cancer can make you and take your life, at least you leave feeling love. Illness has no face, just pain.
I don't regret not becoming a mother 99% of the time, but when I think of legacy, children is the first thing to pop in my head. I'm not a David Bowie leaving a mark on the music of today and tomorrow so what am I to leave behind? How will I be remembered? Will I be remembered?
I thought a lot about this last year when the doctor explained if cancer was to come back in my groin there would be no further treatment, that I would die. I've had as much radiation and chemo as that area can handle. I was told this around 730am and I'll never forget calling Erynn to have her rush to hospital to stay with me until my family arrived. It was a day I'll never forget, a day that really showed me mortality and a day that cancer scared me the most. I tear up just thinking about it.
As much as I've set goals for 2016 with education and employment, I think my biggest goal should be my legacy. I want my nieces and nephews to always remember the fun "date days" I took them on, my friends & their kids the cards I sent and my family the goofy times we shared. Once I'm working again I want to make people smile and have them tell their friends I changed their day. If I can leave moments like this behind me I will be a happy woman. Just being kind. Kindness is contagious.
Now when it comes to my funeral, let's keep it real. I want bling and a party. Oh and a park bench would be great too! I want a slideshow showing only good photos of me through the years so please be selective of 19-22 as my girls and I had a lot of fun and we had a lot of bad hair (didn't think so then did we. I blame Madonna). Now I'm not planning on going anywhere any time soon, I've got a legacy to build, but just incase....you read it here first! My blog....part of my legacy.
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
A friends dad passed away a couple weeks ago so I attended his funeral in support of her. He was 91 so had a long life but suffered in the end with Alzeimers. I have a dear uncle also going through this and seeing how hard it is on their loved ones just makes me think cancer is the better of 2 evils. As sick as cancer can make you and take your life, at least you leave feeling love. Illness has no face, just pain.
I don't regret not becoming a mother 99% of the time, but when I think of legacy, children is the first thing to pop in my head. I'm not a David Bowie leaving a mark on the music of today and tomorrow so what am I to leave behind? How will I be remembered? Will I be remembered?
I thought a lot about this last year when the doctor explained if cancer was to come back in my groin there would be no further treatment, that I would die. I've had as much radiation and chemo as that area can handle. I was told this around 730am and I'll never forget calling Erynn to have her rush to hospital to stay with me until my family arrived. It was a day I'll never forget, a day that really showed me mortality and a day that cancer scared me the most. I tear up just thinking about it.
As much as I've set goals for 2016 with education and employment, I think my biggest goal should be my legacy. I want my nieces and nephews to always remember the fun "date days" I took them on, my friends & their kids the cards I sent and my family the goofy times we shared. Once I'm working again I want to make people smile and have them tell their friends I changed their day. If I can leave moments like this behind me I will be a happy woman. Just being kind. Kindness is contagious.
Now when it comes to my funeral, let's keep it real. I want bling and a party. Oh and a park bench would be great too! I want a slideshow showing only good photos of me through the years so please be selective of 19-22 as my girls and I had a lot of fun and we had a lot of bad hair (didn't think so then did we. I blame Madonna). Now I'm not planning on going anywhere any time soon, I've got a legacy to build, but just incase....you read it here first! My blog....part of my legacy.
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
Late night
It's late, 3am to be specific, and I can't seem to fall asleep. Some nights I hear every thought or idea and have to get it done or write it on a post-it note, stick it on my mirror above my keys, reminding me to do it later!
Today my amazingly beautiful Kate Spade gold polk-a-dot 2016 agenda arrived (c/o a birthday Indigo gift card thanks so much) and after picking the perfect pen, I started to write in birthdays. I'm happy to say I have lots of friends & their children to send cards to, but once you start you can't stop or at least I can't. I went through last years calendar, a note pad, sent a few "remind me emails" and hours later all was recorded.
Card sending is a lost art. A thank you note, an invitation or birthday card makes us all smile & I'll always send cards for that exact reason. I'm often asked why I don't use my iphone calendar. I do for some things like sporting event times and maybe a gathering or 2 but there's nothing like seeing it on paper. I feel very old school in a techie world where I communicate via social media more than a phone call, but I open my agenda every morning just like Facebook and get a feel for my day. Look ahead a few days and see what's happening. Maybe put up another post-it to make sure I don't forget, especially if it's mailing a card.
Now to fill my polk-a-dot agenda pages. I feel ready to work again on a PT basis in a low stress role close to home. It doesn't scare me necessarily but I get anxious. I've kind of created a bubble around me and think it's time to pop it & blow another. I'm more nervous than I thought as I'm struggling with this goddam sentence....but I have to move on to this next part of my journey. No joke, a tear just rolled down my cheek. It's so hard to explain why. It's like I learned how to cope with being sick, then coped with treatment, then healing and now a new sense of normal. Buying a winning lotto ticket seems to be in order tomorrow. Could you imagine...now that would be a headline "recent cancer survivor wins millions and builds commune" #stayclosetohome
Oh my goodness it's now 4am! I've read this entry over & over, I'm sure it's fine to post. I'm either going to fall asleep to Gilmore Girls on Netflix or I'll just close me eyes. I'm hoping to just close my eyes. Night!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
PS - Blog has exceeded 37,000 views...wow, thank you!
Today my amazingly beautiful Kate Spade gold polk-a-dot 2016 agenda arrived (c/o a birthday Indigo gift card thanks so much) and after picking the perfect pen, I started to write in birthdays. I'm happy to say I have lots of friends & their children to send cards to, but once you start you can't stop or at least I can't. I went through last years calendar, a note pad, sent a few "remind me emails" and hours later all was recorded.
Card sending is a lost art. A thank you note, an invitation or birthday card makes us all smile & I'll always send cards for that exact reason. I'm often asked why I don't use my iphone calendar. I do for some things like sporting event times and maybe a gathering or 2 but there's nothing like seeing it on paper. I feel very old school in a techie world where I communicate via social media more than a phone call, but I open my agenda every morning just like Facebook and get a feel for my day. Look ahead a few days and see what's happening. Maybe put up another post-it to make sure I don't forget, especially if it's mailing a card.
Now to fill my polk-a-dot agenda pages. I feel ready to work again on a PT basis in a low stress role close to home. It doesn't scare me necessarily but I get anxious. I've kind of created a bubble around me and think it's time to pop it & blow another. I'm more nervous than I thought as I'm struggling with this goddam sentence....but I have to move on to this next part of my journey. No joke, a tear just rolled down my cheek. It's so hard to explain why. It's like I learned how to cope with being sick, then coped with treatment, then healing and now a new sense of normal. Buying a winning lotto ticket seems to be in order tomorrow. Could you imagine...now that would be a headline "recent cancer survivor wins millions and builds commune" #stayclosetohome
Oh my goodness it's now 4am! I've read this entry over & over, I'm sure it's fine to post. I'm either going to fall asleep to Gilmore Girls on Netflix or I'll just close me eyes. I'm hoping to just close my eyes. Night!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
PS - Blog has exceeded 37,000 views...wow, thank you!
Thursday, January 7, 2016
Milestones
The dictionary definition for milestone is as follows:
*a stone set beside a road.....oh shoot not that one!
*an action or event marking significant change or stage in development
That's the definition I'm looking for, thank goodness as the last thing I want to do is seek rocks alongside a road! LOL
I always knew and even wrote about milestones before, they'd come and go, but today it really hit me. Facebook sent me a notification via a link called 'on this day' reminding me that last year I was still in hospital dealing with a terrible infection post tumour removal. But there I was taking the time to write a status that my dad got the hospital TV set up so I could watch the Canucks play. I was in so much pain but was doing my best to stay strong and optimistic through it all.
I had my monthly checkup today. It went well. My doctor told me I could come every 3 months for my PET scan and physical results. This is huge in my recovery. Since diagnosis I've either been at the Cancer Agency daily or monthly. Wow...last year and this year. Crazy. Mom and I spoke of this great news on the way home and of course both of us were excited. But once I walked in to my place the tears were flowing. Obviously these were good tears but I don't think I really understood how hard December and January really were for me last year. I'm glad my positivity and humour helped keep me upbeat during the battle but man today was rough.
I'm cool to remember more milestones of this past year, I just hope they don't all hit me this hard. The next memory will be of hyperbaric treatments which was really cool and I feel a big part of my healing. The beautiful blue scrubs and plastic helmet were super attractive (not) but the people I met and lessons learned were fantastic. People usually don't know what hyperbaric is so I just mention the Canucks used to use back in the day and folks seem to catch on. It all gets back to hockey somehow right?
I've always said I'd give back when I could and make this terrible time mean something. I've applied to school and changing my career this fall but firstly I'm fundraising for the month of February directly for the BC Cancer Agency. These people, this place, saved my life and some of yours as well. We need to keep helping others. Any donation you can make would so be appreciated. Cancer affects 1 in 3 Canadians so let's make a difference. Not everyone might be saved but at least we will continue to have the resources to try.
www.losethebooze.ca
Search for Carly Allen
I must say it's been quite the day, but what a great way to start 2016. Time to make some new milestones!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
*a stone set beside a road.....oh shoot not that one!
*an action or event marking significant change or stage in development
That's the definition I'm looking for, thank goodness as the last thing I want to do is seek rocks alongside a road! LOL
I always knew and even wrote about milestones before, they'd come and go, but today it really hit me. Facebook sent me a notification via a link called 'on this day' reminding me that last year I was still in hospital dealing with a terrible infection post tumour removal. But there I was taking the time to write a status that my dad got the hospital TV set up so I could watch the Canucks play. I was in so much pain but was doing my best to stay strong and optimistic through it all.
I had my monthly checkup today. It went well. My doctor told me I could come every 3 months for my PET scan and physical results. This is huge in my recovery. Since diagnosis I've either been at the Cancer Agency daily or monthly. Wow...last year and this year. Crazy. Mom and I spoke of this great news on the way home and of course both of us were excited. But once I walked in to my place the tears were flowing. Obviously these were good tears but I don't think I really understood how hard December and January really were for me last year. I'm glad my positivity and humour helped keep me upbeat during the battle but man today was rough.
I'm cool to remember more milestones of this past year, I just hope they don't all hit me this hard. The next memory will be of hyperbaric treatments which was really cool and I feel a big part of my healing. The beautiful blue scrubs and plastic helmet were super attractive (not) but the people I met and lessons learned were fantastic. People usually don't know what hyperbaric is so I just mention the Canucks used to use back in the day and folks seem to catch on. It all gets back to hockey somehow right?
I've always said I'd give back when I could and make this terrible time mean something. I've applied to school and changing my career this fall but firstly I'm fundraising for the month of February directly for the BC Cancer Agency. These people, this place, saved my life and some of yours as well. We need to keep helping others. Any donation you can make would so be appreciated. Cancer affects 1 in 3 Canadians so let's make a difference. Not everyone might be saved but at least we will continue to have the resources to try.
www.losethebooze.ca
Search for Carly Allen
I must say it's been quite the day, but what a great way to start 2016. Time to make some new milestones!
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
Saturday, December 26, 2015
Merry merry
Christmas is my favourite time of year. Not for the presents or even the great food, but for the feel & vibe all around you. Everyone is just nicer. People say hello in elevators instead of staring at the buttons lighting up floor after floor, the grocery clerks wish you happy holidays and ugly sweaters become fashion statements.
Last Christmas I was struggling post surgery and was admitted to hospital days later with a terrible infection. My stay at VGH was close to 2 weeks having me ring in 2015 in my hospital room. The morphine drip had me asleep way before midnight but I remember dreaming of next year hoping it would all be over. Last night as sat at the dinner table that dream had come true.
When life is uncertain and on the line, we really learn to appreciate it and want more of it. But as health improves and your life comes back it's so easy to forget. Of course we don't want to live in fear or in the past, but maybe we can just "smell the roses" a little bit more. As I took pictures of my family last night I was grateful. Grateful to still be alive, grateful my family wasn't mourning me and grateful for each of them.
2016 is just days away....where has 2015 gone? This is one year I'm fine to say flew by too quickly, but really it has. I have some great goals and aspirations for 2016, none of them easy, but all of them exciting.
I've never been one to make concrete resolutions, but for 2016 I want to value life as it deserves and be a better friend and person. Let's not wait for next Christmas to get together or to pick up the phone, but do it now while we're able. Sure we're all busy with kids, work, knee surgeries, cats....whatever, but don't wait if you don't have to as another year will soon fly by finding us right back here.
Wishing you all a fabulous & merry 2016!
XOXO
C
#carly2conquercancer
Wednesday, December 9, 2015
All clear!
The saying "time heals all wounds" sure has a lot of meaning in my life. My poor body has been through so much, but hearing my MRI results are clear showing no sign of reoccurrence sure makes me smile!
I was supposed to go in to the Cancer Agency today, but instead had my appointment moved to next week as I've come down with a nasty flu virus. Last thing I want is to pass germs to a sick cancer patient so asked my doctor please call me with my MRI results. Seeing the Cancer Agency come up on my caller ID I took a deep breath and said hello. At first Dr Lee thought she woke me up but my congestion makes me sound like a cross between Farrah Fawcett and Freddy Kruger!
The MRI shows no sign of reoccurrence and the area is stable. Great news! I'm always a little cautious with these results because I never got the margins like we wanted. When any tumour is extracted the doctors like to cut around it creating margins. These margins increase your odds of success to not have the cancer spread or reoccur. Had they gone for the margins with me, I would have had a huge surgery involving plastics, colostomy bag and more. The doctors always said they could operate again if necessary but they could never reverse any outcome. I'm so very glad and thankful they took this approach.
I've been getting lots of comments lately about this blog. Some of you wondering why I'm not writing as much and even some of you wondering if I'll make a book. So I got to thinking about what I love about this blog and what I think I can do with it. My first step is to give it another name. I think it's time to just call this my journey and not my cancer journey. I'd never change a thing which is a crazy statement for a terrible time in my life, but I want to carry on calling myself a survivor rather than a patient. I was texting with a BFF today and told her without so many people in my corner sending positive thoughts, I don't think I'd been as lucky beating cancer. I truly believe this. I truly thank you. All of you.
This blog has been one of the best things to happen to me so why should I stop now? Just because my cancer is laying low doesn't mean my writing has to! I have lots of exciting moments coming my way with fitness, school, dating and more. So as long as you want to hear my silly stories I'm willing to share them with you. I still have a ways to go but excited....no pumped.....at what my future holds!
#carly2conquercancer
XOXO
C
I was supposed to go in to the Cancer Agency today, but instead had my appointment moved to next week as I've come down with a nasty flu virus. Last thing I want is to pass germs to a sick cancer patient so asked my doctor please call me with my MRI results. Seeing the Cancer Agency come up on my caller ID I took a deep breath and said hello. At first Dr Lee thought she woke me up but my congestion makes me sound like a cross between Farrah Fawcett and Freddy Kruger!
The MRI shows no sign of reoccurrence and the area is stable. Great news! I'm always a little cautious with these results because I never got the margins like we wanted. When any tumour is extracted the doctors like to cut around it creating margins. These margins increase your odds of success to not have the cancer spread or reoccur. Had they gone for the margins with me, I would have had a huge surgery involving plastics, colostomy bag and more. The doctors always said they could operate again if necessary but they could never reverse any outcome. I'm so very glad and thankful they took this approach.
I've been getting lots of comments lately about this blog. Some of you wondering why I'm not writing as much and even some of you wondering if I'll make a book. So I got to thinking about what I love about this blog and what I think I can do with it. My first step is to give it another name. I think it's time to just call this my journey and not my cancer journey. I'd never change a thing which is a crazy statement for a terrible time in my life, but I want to carry on calling myself a survivor rather than a patient. I was texting with a BFF today and told her without so many people in my corner sending positive thoughts, I don't think I'd been as lucky beating cancer. I truly believe this. I truly thank you. All of you.
This blog has been one of the best things to happen to me so why should I stop now? Just because my cancer is laying low doesn't mean my writing has to! I have lots of exciting moments coming my way with fitness, school, dating and more. So as long as you want to hear my silly stories I'm willing to share them with you. I still have a ways to go but excited....no pumped.....at what my future holds!
#carly2conquercancer
XOXO
C
Tuesday, December 8, 2015
Surgiversary
Thought I'd make up a new word to mark 1 year ago today, when Big Kahuna was no more. The word is surgiversary. For any new readers or perhaps a refresher for my groupies, I named my tumour Big Kahuna upon diagnosis. It was a life changing surgery physically & emotionally but resulted with me later becoming cancer-free. As Donald Trump would say it was a "huuuugggeee" moment.
It was a hard recovery resulting with an infection and 38 hyperbaric oxygen treatments but it was all necessary. I was scared back then that men would run away hearing my battle. Who would want to date me vs that other girl who was "normal". I still haven't met my future husband by any means, but have dabbled with dating & think I'll be just fine.
I had my MRI just over 2 weeks ago but have yet to hear the results. My monthly check up at the Cancer Agency is this Wednesday so will hear then. Fingers crossed all is still fine but if for any reason bad news comes about, I'll take it in stride. When I had the MRI the technician said my images were clear, so gives me faith my doctors will have a good grasp on things.
Seems each scan, or specifically each dye injection, has left it's mark with me. The radioactive dye illuminates my pelvis allowing for proper imaging. 5 days post MRI, my vein & arm area where the injection was(near elbow) were swollen and red. I had to go to the ER as I was in quite a bit of discomfort & no doubt needed a doctors opinion. Glad I went in as I was told it could have become a blot clot or an even more serious infection. I picked up my prescription that night & improved over 4 days. Phew! If you go to my blog online you'll see a photo in my slideshow.
Dad had knee surgery 2 days ago and is home recovering like a champ. He's done really well and was up walking the next day. Bionic man is on the move! As always Mom is taking the reins and earning more points for whatever comes her way. She's got lots of points!!!!
I won a contest with Save On Foods & the Canucks, so my friend & I attended (along with other winners) a Canucks private practice. I've been a fan since I was 5 years old & dad taught me to yell "booooo" at the refs so this kind of thing is exciting for me. We even got a photo with our mascot Finn!
I'll be sure to write Wednesday before 11pm so you get this in real time. I wish the email would go out once I write but it has an 11pm deadline & I often write thereafter.
Lots of love your way this holiday season.
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
It was a hard recovery resulting with an infection and 38 hyperbaric oxygen treatments but it was all necessary. I was scared back then that men would run away hearing my battle. Who would want to date me vs that other girl who was "normal". I still haven't met my future husband by any means, but have dabbled with dating & think I'll be just fine.
I had my MRI just over 2 weeks ago but have yet to hear the results. My monthly check up at the Cancer Agency is this Wednesday so will hear then. Fingers crossed all is still fine but if for any reason bad news comes about, I'll take it in stride. When I had the MRI the technician said my images were clear, so gives me faith my doctors will have a good grasp on things.
Seems each scan, or specifically each dye injection, has left it's mark with me. The radioactive dye illuminates my pelvis allowing for proper imaging. 5 days post MRI, my vein & arm area where the injection was(near elbow) were swollen and red. I had to go to the ER as I was in quite a bit of discomfort & no doubt needed a doctors opinion. Glad I went in as I was told it could have become a blot clot or an even more serious infection. I picked up my prescription that night & improved over 4 days. Phew! If you go to my blog online you'll see a photo in my slideshow.
Dad had knee surgery 2 days ago and is home recovering like a champ. He's done really well and was up walking the next day. Bionic man is on the move! As always Mom is taking the reins and earning more points for whatever comes her way. She's got lots of points!!!!
I won a contest with Save On Foods & the Canucks, so my friend & I attended (along with other winners) a Canucks private practice. I've been a fan since I was 5 years old & dad taught me to yell "booooo" at the refs so this kind of thing is exciting for me. We even got a photo with our mascot Finn!
I'll be sure to write Wednesday before 11pm so you get this in real time. I wish the email would go out once I write but it has an 11pm deadline & I often write thereafter.
Lots of love your way this holiday season.
XOXO
#carly2conquercancer
C
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